and people wonder why kids hit??!?!!!?!?! what is that woman thinking? this drives me bonkers...

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No wonder the kid is a bully.

 

How sad.

That kid doesn't have much of a chance, does he?

 

Yea, that's wonderful. So he can continue to try to control his environment in the same way his parents control theirs -- force. I'd be worried about your child too -- next time the bully might be more sneaky & threaten dire consequences if your little one "tattles."

 

I'm sorry

 

Why do we hit people who hit people to teach them that hitting is wrong?

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I guess those studies that show spanking causes aggressive behavior in children are right.

You must feel awful, but you had to stand up for your child. Ugh.

 

The same sort of thing happened with us last year. I felt so bad for both the kids.

 

I have a 4-year-old nephew who is a spitfire. He also hits regularly. His mom doesn't understand why. Um, maybe cause when you're pissed at him, you hit him. She thinks it's because he's the youngest of four boys. Yeah the older boys hit him like he hits them, but not as often as his parents.

 

I am so sorry for both kids and you. How are you doing? How is your son doing now?

 

Now I do not advocate spanking in ANY way, shape or form, but I have to disagree that all kids who are or have been spanked are aggressive. Did the study say ALL kids, or just some?

What about the posts on the GD forum about how kids who are not spanked who hit, kick, scratch and pinch, and even SPIT on their parents? That it makes me just go, "huh". That does not mean I think people should not practice GD or at least some form of GD. Anything to make people think and not spank is great. And I am sure some kids are just more apt to act aggressive even if they are not spanked.

I know many people who were spanked and yet they are the most gentle, loving people (who don't spank their own kids) you would ever meet. My best friend has NEVER spanked her children, yet she was spanked.

I do agree that the poor boy should not have been spanked and humiliated like that. I feel sorry for him. What a terrible thing for you to have to witness. I would have been tempted to stop the parent. I am suprised the school people didn't.

 

I am so sorry. How did you child feel afterwards? Did you guys speak together about it? My heart hurts for the boy.

 

of course no one is saying that all kids are spanked, but studies have shown the chance of your child being aggressive does go up when they are treated with violence.

 

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Originally Posted by PatchyMama of course no one is saying that all kids are spanked, but studies have shown the chance of your child being aggressive does go up when they are treated with violence.

Oh of course it does. I was not being argumentive. I hope no one took it that way. I have had people tell me though, that ALL people who were/are spanked will turn out to be serial killers or something, when it just is not true.

I just feel so sorry for the OP, and especially that poor boy. Bully or not, he didn't deserve the punishment he got.

 

My son has also been bullied by a child whose parents hit him. Frequently. For most offenses.

My son is very confused by his behavior, and has actually said to me, "He doesn't know better. His parents hit HIM."

 

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Originally Posted by TinkerBelle I have had people tell me though, that ALL people who were/are spanked will turn out to be serial killers or something

No one in their right mind ever claimed that.

Back on topic.....that sucks. I probably would have freaked out, not in a GD/advocacy type way....more in a "What the f---!?!? Don't hit your kid! What the hell is that gonna do?!".

Yikes.

OP-maybe you could use this as an educational moment for your son...

 

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Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy No one in their right mind ever claimed that. Back on topic.....that sucks. I probably would have freaked out, not in a GD/advocacy type way....more in a "What the f---!?!? Don't hit your kid! What the hell is that gonna do?!". Yikes. OP-maybe you could use this as an educational moment for your son...

I THOUGHT no person with common sense would think such a thing. Thank you for clarifying.

You would probably be surprised at the things I have seen and heard these days.

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Originally Posted by TinkerBelle I THOUGHT no person with common sense would think such a thing. Thank you for clarifying. You would probably be surprised at the things I have seen and heard these days. :

Is there a reason you are not hsing?

 

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Originally Posted by UUMom Is there a reason you are not hsing?

I was not referring to school, just what I have seen/heard in everyday life. It just floors me sometimes.

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Funny you should mention homeschooling, though. I did HS my oldest last year. It was not a good fit for him. Or me, to be honest. He enjoys school and does much better in general, in school. His teacher is fabulous. She has a gift for teaching children that I sorely lack. He is a much happier boy now, and I am happy for him.

My middle child has autism and is in the special ed class, where he has had the same teacher for 3 yrs. He has blossomed from an almost nonverbal child, to a child who can hold somewhat of a conversation.

I think homeschooling is great. I am totally for it. I know many moms and dads who do it and do it well. It just didn't work out for us. But, that does not mean the learning has stopped at home. We still read and do other educational things together, and with his brothers and their dad. Learning at home, as you know, is not limited to homeschooling.

 

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Originally Posted by TinkerBelle I was not referring to school, just what I have seen/heard in everyday life. It just floors me sometimes. : Funny you should mention homeschooling, though. I did HS my oldest last year. It was not a good fit for him. Or me, to be honest. He enjoys school and does much better in general, in school. His teacher is fabulous. She has a gift for teaching children that I sorely lack. He is a much happier boy now, and I am happy for him. My middle child has autism and is in the special ed class, where he has had the same teacher for 3 yrs. He has blossomed from an almost nonverbal child, to a child who can hold somewhat of a conversation. I think homeschooling is great. I am totally for it. I know many moms and dads who do it and do it well. It just didn't work out for us. But, that does not mean the learning has stopped at home. We still read and do other educational things together, and with his brothers and their dad. Learning at home, as you know, is not limited to homeschooling.

I thought you were saying the child was hit in the school.

I tend to wonder/question 'reports' regarding these sorts of incidents (not yours-- the person who told you they saw the child spanked in the school). It's all these years knowing Fox is out there.

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Although, and don't throw stones, there is no way my child would continue to attend any school which could not keep them safe from being beaten up. That's simply non -negotaible, no matter what my child would want. Esp when the offender is know to be abused. That's a recipe for disaster.

Further I can't see a child choosing to attend a school where they are getting battered if they had other options.

edited for spelling.

 

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Originally Posted by UUMom I thought you were saying the child was hit in the school. I tend to wonder/question 'reports' regarding these sorts of incidents (not yours-- the person who told you they saw the child spanked in the school). It's all these years knowing Fox is out there. : Although, and don't throw stones, there is no way my child would continue to attend any school which could not keep them safe from being beaten up. That's simply non -negotaible, no matter what my child would want. Esp when the offender is know to be abused. That's a recipe for disaster. Further I can't see a child choosing to attend a school where they are getting battered if they had other options. edited for spelling.

I think you might have confused me for the OP. I didn't see any child hit in any school, nor was my child beaten up. And I agree with you.

 

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Originally Posted by sleepies my son was recently bullied at school (and beaten up) well, their parents were called in, and one of the parents SPANKED her child right then/there. this is NOT what i was hoping for at all. so, now, basically the kid gets the message that it is OK to hit....opposite of what needed to be taught. i was too shocked to do/say anything. I guess I don't have a question. But, rather, I just wanted to vent. : Thanks for listening/reading.

Did she spank him in the school? How did the administration handle that?

And how is your child doing? What was the outcome?

 

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Originally Posted by TinkerBelle I think you might have confused me for the OP. I didn't see any child hit in any school, nor was my child beaten up. And I agree with you.

Yeah, I want to know what happened with the OP and the child in question.

 

that is outrageous. and ridiculous if that mother thinks that will teach him to not hit!

 

well,

today he was knocked down 2x at school

by a different kid.

this time ONE little girl.

He has a black eye and scratched up face.

Teacher called me and said that he "Fell." .....................

He came home and said he was pushed. I'll find out more tomorrow.

This is crazy stuff I tell you.

He seems so confused. He told me today "The world is full of hitting"...

Makes me sad. He's never even been spanked, and now I have this to deal with.

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PS> The administration (Principal) spoke to my husband and told him that the mother 'spanked him right in front of me so i know it was dealt with' --gasp-- DH didn't have comment to her.

I may be going in there for a 1/1 chat soon.

We can opt for private school, but all of those are 'religious' around here.

This school SHOULD be safe. Nice neighborhood. High "test" scores (the best in area). Or we could afford to move, but it would really shake up our long term goals (house is almost paid for).