Child Wants Own Play-Space Excluding Others

Dear Parent,

There are a few kind ways to respond to each child’s need for playing in a space by herself; much of it can be handled by the children themselves. By telling the children that the house is everybody’s all the time, you enable them to prevent the one child who needs space from having it. The house may be for everyone, but that includes each one’s ability to use one space alone.

As a parent you can declare that a child has a right for privacy of play. The child can use any space except for the kitchen and the bathroom. The kitchen and bathroom have specific usage that cannot be delayed when needed.

For all the other spaces, suggest to the children to come up with their own ways of making it possible. A child deserves privacy and the ability to play alone. This request is more typical in families with children close in age, like yours. The children have plenty of together time, and need some alone play time. 

A simple way to support the child who needs alone space is to take the other two children and spend time with them in another room. So if one child is playing in the living room, you can invite the other two to play with you outside, or to read books with you in the bedroom. 

Since all three want private play-time, they are motivated to find a solution that honor this need. 

Warmly, Naomi Aldort http://AuthenticParent.com