Waldorf education and how to guide without coersion

Hi, Naomi, Thank you for taking the time to respond to my questions. My daughters are at a Waldorf school, which they both love. I, however, have some questions as to whether the ends justify the means. Rudolf Steiner said that Waldorf education is an education towards freedom. The underlying assumption is that in order to be free, children must learn how to do things the "correct" way, so that they can later express themselves with that medium. For example, the children learn how to knit by following the lead of the teacher. My daughter is very proficient at handwork now, a skill that she could not have learned at home from me. She has this ability and can now create anything she wants. But I worry about the soundness of the assumption that we, as the adults/educators, know what's best for the children. In line with this question, I also see that my children take guidance from other adults much better than they do from me. My husband and I are very conscious of not imposing our will on our children, yet, when they ask for our help and we respond, they often get angry, saying things like, "You're trying to drown me!" if we're teaching them how to swim, for instance. I understand that this is a fear reaction and that they wouldn't react the same way to the swimming instructor, but I'm not sure how to give them the help that they ask for without it turning into a battle. You've quoted Leo Buscaglia as saying that "love never gives direction," yet you also say that children need loving guidance. How can we, as parents, walk this line? Thank you for your words of wisdom. Warmly, Kim