Unwanted Comments By Strangers

Dear Parent,

You can validate the person’s intent and your child will observe love rather than defensiveness. Instead of focusing on the fact that she is saying something “wrong,” focus on connecting with her. In this story, you could say, “Are you worried that they would get hurt?” And, she would most likely say, “You bet and they would.” You can continue kindly, “It must be hard for you to watch. I appreciate your care.” With compassionate connection, she may even get intrigued by your trust of your children. 

If you don’t feel competent to connect in this way, there is no need to do anything. Your children are impacted by you, not by strangers. They learn from your attitude toward others. If you are concerned, you can always depart as you did, saying to the children, “This lady is having a hard time watching your game. Lets be kind to her and go elsewhere.” The children learn compassion and may decide to stay and play a different game, knowing that it is not about being careful, but about being considerate.

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com