Toddler Masturbation

Toddler

Naomi Aldort

Hi Naomi, my daughter is 22 months old and has been rubbing her bottom on my knee in a masturbatory way ever since she was 8 months old. Lately she has been doing it more often, using my knee or her dad's, the floor, or a toy or blanket on the floor. When she does it on my husband he calls me saying he is uncomfortable and I immediately bring her to me where she commences the humping motion. Sometimes she asks for privacy. She obviously finds it calming and soothing and will usually fall alseep or enter a deep relaxation state. My husband is worried that she might develop an addiction (as he saw something on TV to that effect). Is there something that we should be doing about her behavior?

Dear parent,

A toddler’s pleasure play with herself is normal and should be allowed freely. It passes of its own. It is enjoyable but not sexual.

It is fine, however, to guide your daughter to play with herself at home and in private. It is even harmless to ask her not to do it on daddy’s leg and you can “wean” her from doing it on your body too, to help her frame it as something she does to herself.

Some wee ones spend a lot of time masturbating out of boredom. Others breastfeed out of boredom. It is a good idea to give your child a life that is interesting enough that she is not preoccupied with self-soothing. Let her play with herself as much as she wants and make no fuss at all, but also provide a life that has enough excitement and interest for her.

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Toddler Masturbation

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