November 7th, 2009
I got lost recently. Wandering on a university campus and trying to find my way, I asked first one, then two, then three passersby for directions. Not one of them could help. Discouraged, I gave up on asking, somehow believing that if they couldn’t help me then nobody could.
Still wandering 15 minutes later, I took a deep breath and asked again. This friendly woman shrugged as she pointed to a path and told me to “go down the path through between those 2 buildings and then ask again.”
What a gift. She helped me as much as she could and ordered me to ask for help again. In a brief, random encounter she modeled the essential life skill of asking for help, and asking again if needed.
While we grow up hearing the phrase “if at first you don’t succeed, try try again,” when it comes to asking for help sometimes even the first attempt is daunting. How often as a mother do you need help, but hesitate to ask? Or you ask once, and then give up and move forward without the help you need?
When we ask again, we are stepping more fully into the reality of our need, and believing that the support we need will be there for us.
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Do you need help with something?
Have you asked once? Twice?
Still need help? Go ahead – ask again!
Tags: asking for help, self-care
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October 16th, 2009
You know the feeling. You’re thirsty. But you’ve pushed the sensation aside in favour of making school lunches or just one more chapter of a good book. By the time you get around to having a drink you are parched, and find yourself guzzling rather than sipping.
We’ve been working with mothers long enough to know that moms are really, really good at delaying that metaphorical sip of water. We’re good at talking about our desire for self-care, our longing for balance, and the challenges we’re facing, and not always so good at taking steps towards change. The busy nature of family life too often takes precedence, and our needs are set aside.
We got a registration the other day from a mother wanting to join one of our Mama Renew groups. She described her eager anticipation of the group, “My spirit feels like its about to drink a big, needed glass of water.” She captured the essence of Mama Renew perfectly.
Many mothers are doing great things with their free time – yoga classes, book clubs, choirs and more. Each of these has the potential to nurture and inspire, and build a community of support. There’s something different, however, about the Mama Renew journey. When we go beyond sips and take the time to enjoy a long cool class of water, we experience a deeper level of nourishing and growth.
Whether your life right now is crazy full or deliciously slow, we hope you’re taking some great big gulps along the way. Dig deeper, celebrate self-care, create balance, delight in your successes, take risks, live adventures…
Renew, Mamas, Renew!
Tags: dehydration, motherhood, self-care, thirsty
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September 29th, 2009
Stop and reflect for a moment.
If you look through your family photos, how many images include you?
Even more telling, are there any photos just of you?
Not you breastfeeding, not you with a toddler swinging off your hip in a sling, not you on a family hike, not you pushing a swing. Just you. On your own.
Imagine.
If you have been wise enough to include such photos in the family collection, we applaud you. We’re guessing, however, that you’re a lot like the rest of us and maybe only have a few, and of these maybe only one that you actually like. Or maybe even none at all.
In a recent Mama Renew group my dear friend Nancy, photographer extraordinaire, gifted each woman participating with a photo session. Just for us. No kids allowed. No partner. Just mama.
What a beautiful gift. And a perfect way to strike absolute terror into my heart. Just of me? I tried to bargain, asking to include the kids. At the root was my fear – what if I didn’t like what I saw?
Soon after my 40th birthday Nancy reintroduced me to myself through her lens. She came with not only her camera, but the desire to capture my way of being in the world. Her images will serve as a testimony to my unique beauty, and who I am as woman today.
Thank you, Nancy!
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Our Mama Renew challenge to all of you? Find a Nancy.
She may be a professional photographer, or a dear friend.
Let yourself be seen through someone else’s eye –
and may you find beauty in your own reflection.
Tags: family photos, motherhood, mothering, photography, self-care
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I love road trips. I don’t love the driving or gas station bathrooms. I do, however, love that suspended from reality feeling I get on a road trip. The feeling of being unknown, unneeded, inbetween worlds & responsibilities. I’m simply on the journey.
© 2009 Mothering Magazine