Mama Renew: Exploring the Deeper Journey of Motherhood

Please Sarah on the new Mothering.com community blog — All Things Mothering.

by Sarah Juliusson of www.MamaRenew.ca – Find Mama Renew on Facebook & Twitter

Do you have one of those friends who just doesn’t get your life as a mother?  With no children herself, she has a hard time imagining what on earth it is that you do all day…. Worse, you never seem to have time for her!

Here is a great letter & response in the Washington Post that has mom around North America nodding their heads in agreement:

Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What’d you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I’ve done Internet searches, I’ve talked to parents. I don’t get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don’t do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I’m asking is: What is a typical day and why don’t moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I’m feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy — not a bad thing at all — but if so, why won’t my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest (”My life is so much harder than yours”)? What’s the deal? I’ve got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.

To read the authors’ clever response, click here…

What about you?  When you became a mom, did your friendships change?  Have you been able to keep some of those friendships with women who don’t have children alive & growing?

by Sarah Juliusson of www.MamaRenew.ca – Find Mama Renew on Facebook & Twitter

Keep a list of everything that interests and excites you, no matter how insignificant.

Remind yourself that these are indicators or clues

that both the talent & the necessary Spirit assistance exist to bring them into your reality.

- Wayne Dyer

What sparks you?  We all have a mental list, some high priority and some all but forgotten.  On any given ordinary day we may come across something new for our list, catching us by surprise.

I, for example, have recently grown very intrigued by the idea of growing & wild harvesting mushrooms.  I know this is likely not high on most of your lists, but I really really want to learn.  I haven’t yet truly made the space to learn, and it may be a few more years before it happens, but it’s on my list.  Each time I hear about it I get these ridiculous flutters of excitement – about fungus!   I know the day will come.

At the retreat we did a fun sharing of all the things that interest or excite us that are not yet part of our reality. We went around the circle maybe 5 times, a marvelous discovery of the diversity of women in the room.

Turns out we are interested and excited by some very cool things – and somehow just saying them out loud helped each of us feel that they are indeed possible.  There’s a reason that mushrooms excite me, along with quilting, weaving, sourdough, silversmithing, and a few more that I won’t mention in this very public venue

While part of what holds me back is certainly time, there is a threshold or line that needs to be stepped over for each.  Sourdough is my newest love to enter my daily life, and now that I have begun & gained confidence in it there is an ease to baking our family bread & the beautiful sourdough pancakes I made this morning.  There is real truth in the slogan “Just do it,”  and once we’re on the other side of that threshold the way seems to open.

What’s on your list?

This is no bucket list, friends, this is a list for Now.  What do you crave?

by Sarah Juliusson of www.MamaRenew.ca – Find Mama Renew on Facebook & Twitter

As we went around the circle introducing ourselves last night each mother shared a bit about herself & her family.  We passed around photos of our children, and they now are resting on a table in the corner, there to see when we need a reminder, and acknowledged as core to our journey as women.

Then I shared the groundrules.  One of our core rules in Mama Renew groups is no talking about our children.   Now this is hard.  Sometimes it’s really hard.    Another ground rule is to not “mother” other women in the circle.  This means no passing kleenex, no saying comforting things, no suggestions of how to make it better…  Simply holding one another where we need to be.

I went to a Birthing From Within retreat years ago with brilliant writer & visionary Pam England.  At the time I was a relatively new mother – my first born (now was just 18 months old and I was there pumping & praying that my milk supply would make it through and missing him terribly.  That very first night as we began to introduce ourselves “through” our children (I am mother to X and Y and Z…) she stopped us.  We were not there as mothers.  We were there for ourselves, to grow in our Birthing From Within practice.

Having been so immersed in the intensity of new motherhood for the past year and a half I found this to be crushing.  Without identifying myself as Galen’s mother I wasn’t sure who I was, or even what I had to contribute.  I had allowed myself to be consumed by one aspect of myself without nourishing the whole.

Are we mothers?  Absolutely.  We are here because we are mothers. In this time & space, however, we are here as women.

There are other capable and loving people caring for our children.

We do not need to mother them in this moment.  We do not need to mother one another.  We only need to “mother” ourselves.

Hard?  Absolutely.  Essential?  You know it.

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Comment on our facebook page to win one of our fabulous prizes!

by Sarah Juliusson of www.MamaRenew.ca – Find Mama Renew on Facebook & Twitter

We thought we’d offer something special for all you wonderful women who will not be able to join us at Hollyhock this weekend for Renewal:  A Retreat for Mothers. Instead you can enjoy our unique virtual retreat and have the opportunity to win one of the fabulous prizes below!

Want to enjoy our Virtual Retreat? All you need to do is be a member of our Mama Renew Facebook Page – sweet & simple. You will enjoy daily facebook posts with inspiring quotes & creative ideas to bring the Mama Renew spirit into your weekend.   All those attending our virtual retreat will have the opportunity to enter one of four fabulous prize packages designed to nurture & nourish you as a woman and mother.

How to Enter?

First, join our facebook page.  You receive one entry each time you leave a comment on any post on our blog or facebook page between now and Monday, May 30th 2010 at 10 p.m. (multiple entries allowed!).

Lucky Mama Prize Package

Create your own retreat with one complimentary night’s stay for two at Ocean Light Cottage & Spa where you will enjoy the best of Bowen Island’s beauty and abundance.  Includes an organic continental breakfast and an infrared sauna session! Value $200.

Beautiful Mama Prize Package

Celebrate your beauty with a modern portrait by acclaimed photographer Kyrani Kanavaros of Klik Photographic. Kyrani’s portraits are a personal reflection of the essence of the self, captured in a moment, and treasured forever.  Value $495 includes one hour photo shoot, online proofing gallery & a CD of 4×6 jpg photos.

Nourished Mama Prize Package

Nourish yourself with a personalized plan from Holistic Nutritionist Meghan Rathwell.  She will help you meet your wellness goals – renewing energy and creating ease in the kitchen (It’s possible, we promise!)  A 75 minute personal consultation can be done by phone or in person.  Value $95.

Nurture yourself with this luscious calming package from Mama Goddess Birth Shop, your online resource & store for birthing and growing families.  Submerse yourself in Mama Goddess Calming Bath Salts.  Revisit your serenity anywhere & anytime with the Calming Mama Spritzer.  Soothe your body and soul with a warm cup of Calming Mama Tea.  Dim the lights and relax with the glow of an all natural Hummingbird Beeswax Candle & Votives.  Value $75.

Just two weeks to go until our retreat

May 27th – 30th 2010 at glorious Hollyhock on Cortes Island, BC…

and if you want to come, but don’t think you can afford it, I’ve got a special offer for you.

Please do call me at 604 254 1100

& I will do my very best to make it possible for you to enjoy this amazing retreat.

by Sarah Juliusson of www.MamaRenew.ca – Find Mama Renew on Facebook & Twitter

Eat your broccoli.

Go to bed, dear, you need your sleep.

A healthy breakfast is the best start to your day.

We mothers are wonderful at knowing what is best for our children.  Healthy outdoor play time, mittens and hats, homework, the list goes on… Catch is, we’re not always as good at following our own good advice.

We’re gonna play mama with you for just a moment with the following motherly advice:

It’s Good for You:

to simply be with you
to step out of the routine, reconnect and remember.

to connect with a circle of women at different stages of motherhood,
and bring this perspective to your mothering.

to have time to explore, question, reflect
and set intentions

to see your family thrive without you,
and at the same time see how important your role is in their lives.

to play!
daily yoga, nourishing food, nature, dance, laughter.

Remember, mama always knows best.

It’s good for you, dear.

p.s. the Hollyhock kitchen does amazing things with broccoli and breakfasts,

and an evening soak under the stars in the ocean-front hot tub will do wonders for your healthy night of sleep.

See you there?   Space is limited!

For mothers of todders, tweens, teens & empty nesters

Visit the Mama Renew and Hollyhock websites to Learn More

or call Sarah at 604.254.1100

and Hollyhock at 1-800-933-6339 x232

by Sarah Juliusson of www.MamaRenew.ca – Find Mama Renew on Facebook & Twitter

At a recent evening on self-care together with parents from our son’s Kindergarten class, we took turns sharing what we enjoy doing for self-care.  I was particularly struck by the words of a father who expressed his need for memorable moments as a form of self-care.   He’s right – when we can savour a memory or a moment that transcends the ordinary, our spirit is nurtured not just in that moment but for months or years to come.

Hosted in a room known as the Healing Sanctuary in a cob building at the beautiful OUR Ecovillage, the earthen walls and floors, candles, stained glass, and heartfelt sharing were enough to create a beautiful memory of the evening.  Add on the evening walk around the ecovillage land and a sauna after our discussion and the evening was absolute perfection.

I feel a bit like an infommercial here, But Wait!  It Get’s Better!

As another mother and I prepared to return home our car got stuck in the mud.  There were were on a dark and cold night, two mamas sitting in the front seat feeling guilty that we were going to have to ask for help from our fellow parents still basking in the sauna. Imagine our surprise when before we could even get out of the car, into the glare of our headlights appeared our heros -

my husband and another dear friend – both naked but for their boxer briefs.

We howled with laughter, hooted wholehearted approval, hollered our gratitude, clapped with glee, and whistled in appreciation…

While the evening was lovely,  the sight of them leaping into the glare of our headlights to the rescue is a memory to be treasured.

Now that’s self-care.