Forgot Password?

Peggy O'Mara

A Quiet Place

Free-Range Play

May 22nd, 2012

 

 

Someone once told me that mammals learn through play. When children run and play they are also learning. They are using their creativity, developing their self-confidence, building resiliency, increasing physical prowess; learning how to work in groups, to share, negotiate, and resolve conflicts; and honing self-advocacy skills. Play is the work of children and it is through un-structured, self-directed play that children learn to make decisions, and to identify their interests and passions.

Play comes natural to children. Sometimes, if children have been watching a lot of television or have known mostly structured play, they will imitate TV and other’s directions in their play. As they have more time for themselves, they will learn to play in an original way. When children complain of being bored, this state is the very cauldron of creativity. Don’t rescue them from their boredom.  Allow them this discontent. Boredom makes creativity inevitable.

PLAYFULNESS

It’s almost summer now and those warm endless days and nights are near. Here are some ideas to encourage playfulness:

Go bike riding.

Take a walk at night when the moon is full.

Gaze at the stars.

Go on a bug safari.

Make some large cardboard appliance boxes available.

Give your children a video camera to use.

Make a detailed map of your yard, your house, your neighborhood.

Have a scavenger hunt.

Put on a treasure hunt.

Invite the neighborhood over for a circus.

Make boats from wood scraps and corks with paper or fabric sails and sail them down a creek or in the gutters.

Decorate each other’s faces with face paints.

Fill a toy box with old clothes, skarves, jewelry, hats, and shoes.

Make an outdoor obstacle course or par course.

Fill walnut shell halves with candle wax and a tiny wick. Light them and place them around the garden or on a pond at night.

OLD TIME OUTDOOR GAMES

When I was a child we played lots of outdoor games like jump rope, hop scotch, jacks, Hide and Seek, Kick Ball, Red Rover. Mother May I and Red Light/Green Light. These last two are especially fun at dusk. In Mother May I, one player is chosen as Mother. The other players stand a fair distance from her. She calls each in turn by name and instructs them to take a number of baby steps, giant steps or scissors steps. The player must remember to say, “Mother May I” before each move or go back to the beginning. The first player to Mother wins.

In Red Light/Green Light, one person directs the rest of the team to either move or not move and the first to the finish wins. If you’re moving when the light turns red, you have to go back to the beginning.

FREE-RANGE PLAY

Sometimes we think we have to play with our children in order for them to play. This is not true. We may want to play with them sometimes, spontaneously, but most often play is of their own invention and is their own business. They model our busyness with their own. What they need is free time.

This is different from days at home when there are things scheduled to do, like chores. What children need is totally unstructured time to invent and reinvent themselves. Adults need that too. How can we give our children the opportunity for more free time in which to play?

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

[ 6 comments ]

US Gets Crash Course on Normal Breastfeeding

May 17th, 2012

It’s all about breastfeeding right now.

If you signed Public Citizen’s petition to stop distribution of formula samples to new moms in hospitals, you’ll want to know that PC is kicking it up a notch and moving to direct action. Be part of their Rapid Response Team to write letters, send emails, contact hospitals, challenge formula companies and generally raise awareness.

This Saturday, May 19th, there will be a virtual and real-time demonstration against Nestle’s aggressive marketing of infant formula. The real-time demonstration is at Nestle’ headquarters in Croydon, UK from 11:00 to 12:00 AM.

Monday, May 21st, Jay Gordon, MD, will be on CNN’s Anderson Cooper (the daytime show) to defend Attachment Parenting in general and his friends, Mayim Bialek and Jamie Lynne Grumet, in particular. Actress and neuroscientist, Mayim Bialik, is an avid attachment parent and the author of Beyond the Sling. Here’s her response on CNN to the Time cover.

On next Tuesday May 22nd there will be a Nurse-In in New York City at ABC’s The View and a virtual show of support for breastfeeding.

In case you haven’t seen:

Attachment Parenting International’s response to the Time article.

Dr. Bill Sears response to the Time article.

Fascinating Scientific American article on the average age of weaning worldwide (between 2.8 and 3.7 years old) and how “Western nations appear to be an outlier to what is otherwise a natural behavior for our species.”

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

[ 1 comment ]

TIME IS ON OUR SIDE

May 14th, 2012

 

I hate the Time magazine cover. I love the Time magazine cover.

I hate the cover because it is sensational and exploitive. The stylized photo of a defiant looking mom nursing a 4-year-old boy dressed in camouflage and standing on a chair portrays attachment parenting as extreme and even militant. The cover is sensational because it depicts something highly unusual: nursing while a child is standing on a chair.

RARE TO NURSE A TODDLER

Nursing for longer than four years is extremely rare in the US. When we surveyed the Mothering readership in 2006, we found that 10% breastfed until a year; 41% breastfed for one to two years; 32% for two to three years; and 6% for more than four years. This is among a population in which 96% breastfeed..

In US society at large 22.4% are still nursing at a year. The CDC does not keep statistics on breastfeeding beyond one year, but it’s safe to assume that breastfeeding for more than four years occurs less than 1% of the time in the US at large.  It’s uncommon, even among attachment parents.

Time’s cover is exploitive of the child photographed. The image is far from tender and has an erotic edge to it. Nursing is not something that a child would customarily pose for or do at the mother’s request; the image belies the fact that older children nurse infrequently and are generally not exhibitionists.

WATERSHED FOR BREASTFEEDING

I love the Time cover because it is a landmark moment for breastfeeding. Attachment parenting has gone mainstream. Everyone has heard of it now. The cover was featured in two of this week’s Saturday Night LIve skits, but it wasn’t attachment parenting that was lampooned: it was the cover image. The cover has had a unifying effect because it has been so universally ridiculed as overreaching.

It’s no coincidence that this cover comes on the heels of a month of intense and effective breastfeeding advocacy. In early April, Public Citizen started a petition to outlaw the distribution of formula samples in hospitals in support of the WHO Code of the Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes. This is the first time that a group outside of the breastfeeeding community has initiated such an effort.

On April 19th, Mayor Bloomberg and the New York City Health Department announced that they are putting their support behind the Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative for 24 NYC hospitals. Formula samples cannot be given away in baby-friendly hospitals. This is the first time a US mayor made a commitment of this nature to breastfeeding.

INTENTIONALLY UNDERMINING BREASTFEEDING

Not coincidentally, The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women by Elisabeth Badinter, was released on April 24th. Badinter is an old-school feminist who believes that breastfeeding is inherently oppressive despite it being the feminist issue of our time. She is also owner of Publicis, public relations company for Nestle’, the world’s largest formula manufacturer. According to Katy Allison Granju, Badinter’s company also represents the manufacturers of Enfamil and Similac. Her job is to increase formula sales!

In the context of one of the biggest months ever for breastfeeding advocacy, we have the Time cover, which clearly deprecates breastfeeding mothers. Time is looking for newsstand sales. And, they are beholden to their advertisers, especially during these times of severely declining print ad revenue. Formula manufacturer, Pfizer, for example, is the third top advertiser in the US and spent $90.6 million in advertising in the first quarter of 2011 alone. On April 27th, Pfizer announced that it is selling its nutritional business to Nestle’; the baby formula division is expected to generate $2.4 billion in sales in 2012.

BREASTFEEDING MAKING IT

In some ways it is a tribute to our efforts that breastfeeding has become the bell weather for attachment parenting. And, it’s a tribute to us as women that we less easily take the media bait to attack other mothers. This time, we are all united in our shock over the Time cover. They say that a new idea is first ignored, then ridiculed and finally attacked before it is assimilated. We must be winning because breastfeeding is definitely being attacked.

I hope that we can resist the temptation to go unnecessarily down bunny holes defending ourselves when we could instead unite to help pass essential breastfeeding and family leave legislation. That’s what we really need to do.

Let’s bring it home, sisters. “The heart is a muscle the size of your fist. Keep on loving. Keep on fighting.”

(Thanks to Jennifer Tite for the use of her photo.)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

[ 62 comments ]

MORE VBACS

May 8th, 2012

Have you heard the amazing story of the mom who gave birth in the car last week to unexpected breach twins? It was a VBAC. You just can’t help but marvel at birth: a breach VBAC of two babies on the way to the hospital because they came so fast. You tell me. Does that give you confidence in VBAC or what?

VBAC SAFE

We should have confidence in VBAC. The medical establishment maintains control by giving permission to women for a trial of labor, thereby eroding their confidence in their own autonomy. Policies by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) limit access to VBAC and scare tactics terrify women into believing that VBAC is dangerous when it is not. It is the procedures and drugs associated with hospital childbirth in the US that make birth unsafe. An increase in VBACs would, in fact, increase the safety of birth. 

When I was a member of the New Mexico Midwifery Advisory Board in the eighties, I researched the risk of VBACS and found their risk to be comparable to the risk of rare possibilities that we do not routinely dwell on or prepare for: placenta abruption, cord prolapse or shoulder dystocia are all more common than uterine rupture.

VBAC AND CESAREAN INTERTWINED

Our US VBAC rate has dropped from a high of 28.3% in 1996 to 10% today. Look at the chart above, reprinted on Childbirth Connection from the US National Center for Health Statistics, to see how parallel the rise in cesarean rate is with the drop in VBAC rate. The 28% VBAC rate from the past was the result of childbirth advocacy ignited by the publication of Nancy Wainer”s book, Silent Knife, which first articulated this connection between VBAC increases and cesarean decreases. Evidence suggests that a 75% VBAC rate is normal.

This current VBAC drop is directly related to the identification of VBAC as high-risk by the ACOG in 1999, thereby requiring an anesthesiologist, an obstetrician, and an operating room on stand-by. As a result, many hospitials that could not provide these services effectively banned VBACS and no longer “offer” them.

CONFIDENCE IN VBAC

VBAC is the ultimate mind game. How do you get the confidence to believe in birth again after you have been disappointed? How do you believe in your body again? How do you believe in yourself? Surround yourself with others who have already braved the waters. Find birth attendants who absolutely believe in you. Only share your birth plans with friends who will totally support you.

RESOURCES

The International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN), started in 1982 by Esther Booth Zorn, is the premier resource for VBAC with the Vaginal Birth After Cesarean Checklist, 10-year population based study of Uterine Rupture and many more articles as well as local ICAN chapters nationally and internationally, webinars and online forums.

Childbirth Connection, formerly The Maternity Center, is one of the oldest and best resources out there on any topic related to maternity care. Check out their VBAC or Repeat C-Section: What You Need to Know. 

Nicette Jukelevics, childbirth educator and author of Understanding the Dangers of Cesarean Birth, has vbac.com, an evidence based resource.

Read Midwife Thinking’s great blog, VBAC: making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Join the VBAC conversation on Mothering.com. Ask a question, search the archives, find support.

Above all, trust yourself and you will know what to do.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

[ 1 comment ]

No Nestle’ in Newark

May 4th, 2012

 

Corey Booker, mayor of Newark, signed an agreement in February to partner with Nestle’, one of the four most boycotted companies in the world. Nestle donated $100,000 to Let’s Move! Newark, an initiative to fight obesity and promote breastfeeding.

If you consider it a conflict of interest that Newark is partnering with a manufacturer whose products cause obesity and compete with breastfeeding, have no fear. In an email to Time reporter, Bonnie Rochman, Christina Lawrence, head of corporate affairs for Nestle’ Infant Nutrition, said, “The program is unbranded and no specific products will be showcased, provided or endorsed as part of it.”

She must not have been referring to the formula brands showcased behind Mayor Booker’s podium (see photo above) when he announced the partnership with Nestle’ or when he showed off the big check from Nestle’.(see photo at left).

All this, for just $100,000. To a company like Nestle, with annual sales in 2009 of $103.68 billion, $100,000 is a drop in the bucket for this kind of exposure.

Multinational companies in general, and Nestle’ in particular, look for situations in which to expose their brand to potential customers. For example, Nestle’ and other formula companies have sought brand recognition among breastfeeding mothers by distributing formula samples to them, something that has been very effective in undermining breastfeeding. Their new marketing strategy is to position themselves as feeding consultants.

In February, Nestle’s Gerber launched a new initiative with the Michigan state government to help reduce childhood obesity rates. The program will work with hospitals and medical schools to provide nutritional information and training for the medical community. Of course, no logos will be shown.

In 2010, the American Academy of Pediatrics partnered with the Nestle’ Nutrition Institute to develop “positive, family-focused messages specific to obesity prevention…” Gerber makes Gerber Graduate Lil Entrees, a toddler pasta dish with more than twice the amount of salt as a medium order of McDonald’s fries; Nestle’, owner of Gerber, makes money selling foods that contribute to obesity.

Breastfeeding is political. Tens of millions of dollars are spent annually to advertise formula to women who have been advised by their doctors and their Surgeon General to exclusively breastfeed. Baby Milk Action has been working for over 30 years to protect families from the agreessive marketing practices of Nestle and other formula companies. And, while over 60 countries have introduced laws to enforce the International Code for the Marketing of Breast Milk Substitutes, the formula industry fights them all on a country by country basis.

Maria Parlapiano, a nurse and lactation consultant in Chatham, NJ, has been trying to get a meeting with Booker since February, but to no avail; she and Renee Hefti-Graham, also a nurse and lactation consultant, have been working literally non-stop for the last three months to resist this partnership. Read her story at All Things Mothering. Pariapiano has started a petition on change.org to protest the Nestle’ partnership with Newark. Sign her petition now.

We must match the aggressive marketing of formula with our own unwavering determination. The corporate profits of billionaires must not rob our children of their birthright: the milk of their own species.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

[ 2 comments ]

Interview with Karen Brody

April 26th, 2012

Karen Brody and I had a chance to catch up Monday in Santa Fe. Karen is the founder of BOLD, a global movement to make maternity care mother-friendly. She is also the playwright of BIRTH, the critically-acclaimed play about childbirth in the US.

Karen was in Albuquerque for a production of BIRTH, and to train birth workers in her FEAR to FREEDOM program, a ground-breaking new childbirth education method.

In addition to her online FEAR to FREEDOM Birth Facilitator Training Program for birth workers, Karen is a passionate proponent of mothers getting more sleep and teaches Nap Quest Tele-Classes and an upcoming E-course.

Karen and I both look at maternity care through the lens of social activism and see childbirth as a human rights issue.

Here’s a short clip of our conversation.

Tags: , , , , ,

[ Comments Off ]

Screen-Free Week

April 25th, 2012


Preschoolers spend 32 hours a week looking at a screen despite the fact that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time for children under two. According to Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood, “Time with screens is linked to poor school performance, childhood obesity, and attention problems. And it is primarily through screens that children are exposed to harmful marketing.”

Formerly TV-Turnoff Week, Screen-Free Week (April 30 through May 6th) is a springboard for important lifestyle changes that can improve quality of life. Thousands of parents, teachers, PTA members, religious and civic leaders are organizing local activities and events around the world.

I know the appeal of TV and my children watched Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street when they were preschoolers. Later, we had a rule that they could watch two hours of TV a week; they chose to watch Dukes of Hazard and the show influenced all of their play. When we finally put the TV in the closet, their play totally changed and they began to play from their imagination, not from a script. It was a whole new world.

Instead of screen time:

Stories. Even older children and adults like being read to. Choose a book that the whole family will enjoy and read a chapter aloud every night after dinner.

Our children love to hear stories from when we were growing up. Tell stories involving your children as characters. Ongoing stories are fun, but they don’t have to have a message. Take turns doing the telling. For inspiration, ask your children for a list of places, magical beings, magical objects, people and creatures. Make up stories from their lists.

Read and Write Poetry with the family. It’s fun to read poems aloud or to recite them from memory. I loved The Best Loved Poems of the American People when I was growing up and enjoyed privately reciting “The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.” Haikus are a fun way to to start writing poetry.

Music. Don’t be intimidated by music; it belongs in every children’s life. Start with lullabies. Play music often. Go to a concert during Screen-Free Week. Dance together. Make up a DIY dance contest. Sing songs together. The Golden Song Book is great for preschoolers; Rise Up Singing is a spiral bound group singing songbook. Get some simple musical instruments to have around the house and drum or rattle along with songs.

Nurture Your Artist. Wouldn’t it be fun to spend a lot of time painting, drawing, do collages, making clay sculptures? These would be great activities for Screen-Free Week. Make a trip to a local museum or art gallery during this week.

Play Board Games. I love the intimacy that board games create and the lessons they teach. Heck, they’re just fun. Here are some suggested games.

Have a Messy Party. Make mud pies. Have a mud bath. Play in a sand box. Make some homemade playdough or silly putty. Make your own bubbles.

Get Outside. Kick some balls around. Go for a walk. Go for a hike. Create a scavenger hunt or treasure hunt. Have a picnic. Watch the night sky. Go on a bug safari. Make a fort in the back yard.

Play Restaurant. Plan a menu. Cook it together. Change into “fancy” clothes before dinner, as they do in Downton Abbey. Eat by candlelight on a tablecloth and use cloth napkins.

What an adventure Screen-Week could be. Let me know what you and your family are planning.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

[ 4 comments ]

THE ECONOMIC VALUE OF BREAST MILK

April 19th, 2012

The controversy about breastfeeding would be over if we counted breast milk production as part of our Gross Domestic Product (GDP) in the same way that we count formula production. The $4 billion a year in US formula sales is part of the good news of our economy because of the distorted way that we count things. We don’t count the health savings from breastfeeding or the actual value of breast milk production in our GDP.

What would it look like if we did?

HEALTH CARE SAVINGS FROM BREASTFEEDING

In 1997, nursing professor Jan Riordan calculated a potential US cost savings from breastfeeding of over $1 billion per year. By 2001, the savings was calculated to be $3.1 billion a year.

But this is just cost savings. What if we calculated the value of breastmilk production itself?

THE VALUE OF BREAST MILK PRODUCTION

A study in the 1980s, calculated that the one billion liters of breastmilk produced annually by Indonesian mothers would cost $400 million to replace with formula.

A study in 1993 estimated that if the 51% of Indian women then exclusively breastfeeding stopped it would cost $2.3 billion to replace their breastmilk with formula.

Here are some surprising numbers from a 1999 study by Arun Gupta and Kuldeep Khanna:

The net value of breastmilk produced in Ghana if breastfeeding were optimal would be $165 million.

If the value of breastmilk were included, the GDP of Zimbabwe would increase by 1%; the GDP of Mali by 6%.

In Iran, when exclusive breastfeeding increased from 10% in 1991 to 53% in 1996, the cost of importing breastmilk substitutes declined by $50 million.

In Norway, hospitals paid $50 for each litre of breast milk in 1992. The 8.2 million litres of breastmilk that Norway produced that year is worth $410 million.

In 2010, USA Today reported that US hospitals pay a $3 to $5 an ounce [or $96 to $160 a quart] handling fee for donated milk collected by milk banks.

MAKING SENSE OF THE NUMBERS

Here’s my attempt to make sense of these numbers. I would love to hear from an economist who could expand upon them. These numbers give us a window into what we are worth.

Number of US births per year: 4,130,665

Percentage of US mothers exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months: 13.3%

Number of US mothers exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months: 549,378

Average amount of breast milk produced per day between one and six months: 25 ounces.

Average amount of breast milk produced in 6 months: 4500 ounces:140 quarts.

Value of 140 quarts of breast milk at $96 a quart: $13,440.

Value of 549,378 women producing 140 quarts of breast milk at $96 a quart: $7 billion.

BREAST MILK PRODUCTION VALUE EXCEEDS FORMULA PRODUCTION VALUE

In six months, 13.3% of US women produce breast milk of equal economic value to nearly two  years of formula sales. If 50% of moms were exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months as the American Academy of Pediatrics and Healthy People 2010 recommend, the total yearly economic value of US breast milk would be at least $28 billion.

What do we need to do to add breast milk production to our Gross Domestic Product?

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

[ 20 comments ]

Breastfeeding Action Guide

April 17th, 2012

 

Photo of Coral Charles-Dunne, 91, by Nick Wilkinson


Do you ever wonder what you can do to protect breastfeeding? Are you or do you want to become a breastfeeding advocate? Whether it’s breastfeeding in public, breastfeeding and working, breastfeeding and jury duty, pumping during a medical licensing exam, or the distribution of formula samples to new mothers in hospitals, breastfeeding is the civil rights issue of our time. What can you do?

Write a letter. Write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper. Find out the email of the parenting/family editor and ask if you can write an op-ed piece on one of the issues above. Email the family reporter to suggest an article on one of these topics.

Write your Representatives. Ask your US senators and representatives to sign on to the Breastfeeding Promotion Act. Research your state breastfeeding laws. Do you have laws protecting breastfeeding in public and  breastfeeding in the workplace? Do they have enforcement clauses? Ask your state senators and representatives to create or improve your laws and to introduce a bill to ban formula samples in health-care facilities in your state.

Join or Start a Breastfeeding Coalition. Most breastfeeding organizations exist to provide information and support rather than to organize social actions. Breastfeeding coalitions in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Oregon, however, have organized to fight hospital formula samples.

Start a Community Action Project. Do some research to determine what the most pressing breastfeeding issue is facing your community. For example, contact your local hospital and ask if they distribute formula samples to new mothers. Ban the Bags offers a complete Ban the Bags Tool Kit.

Organize a Social Action. Consider social action. Nurse-ins have been overused as a tactic and are not as effective as they once where. Look for other, more unique actions, such as a flash mob, a viral campaign or something funny like the Knitted Bosom Project.

Also, sometimes the threat of a demonstration can be as effective as a demonstration. A hospital might reconsider their practice of selling customer names if faced with the possibility of a demonstration, something clearly bad for business.

Timing. Time your letters or actions sensitively. For example, write letters when an issue is in the news. Plan demonstrations for a time when your state legislature or the US Congress is in session.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

[ Comments Off ]

Great Cloth Diaper Change

April 16th, 2012


This Saturday, April 21st, is the second annual Great Cloth Diaper Change. We’re going for the world record again. Here’s how you can be involved:

1. Read our blogs about the Great Cloth Diaper Change (GCDC).

2. Look at the GCDC interactive map and Find a Location where you can participate.

3. Host a Great Cloth Diaper Change.

4. Learn more about Cloth Diapers. Read the Cloth Diaper Users Guide.

5. Help financially by becoming a member of The Real Diaper Association.

6. Let others know about the GCDC. Become a cloth diaper advocate.

Every action counts. Do what you can to spread the environmental message about cloth diapers.

 

Tags: , , , , ,

[ 1 comment ]


.


Ad Slot: Top Box

    Welcome to A Quiet Place

    Mothering's long-time editor and publisher, Peggy O'Mara, shares observations and insights about overcoming parenting obstacles, appreciating unacknowledged epiphanies, and taking care of yourself. Also, great food ideas and recipes, as well as beautiful home and garden tips.

Search








Bottom Box