Toddler Refuses Nail Trimming

Dear parent,

It seems to me that you confuse freedom with license in relating to your daughter. Although it is your child’s own body, she counts on your care. Freedom does not mean neglect. 

You want to respect your child, but not to mislead her. You would not let her plunge into a lake before she can swim, eat junk food or chase a cat into the busy street. She relies on your leadership. Check my video clip,  “You Are The Leader” here: http://authenticparent.com/lectures.html

Your child gets used to some basic ways we live, like using the bathroom, eating at a table, combing hair, sleeping at night in a bed, putting clothes on when in public etc. 

How we deal with nails is best handled in the same way. When we treat some aspects of life as a given like the examples above, children don’t even think of “not” doing them.

These habits become like gravity; the way life is. 

Your daughter did not get a clear experience that nails get cut. I would suggest that you apologize for the lack of leadership and clarify that nails must be cut. Some parents cut young children’s nail while they sleep. I am not sure I like the deception aspect of this solution, but if you think your daughter will accept it with more ease, that is one option. Otherwise, let her know that cutting nails is like sleeping in bed, eating and dressing, and, cut her nails regularly. 

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com/index.html