A Mom's DIfficulty to Respond Kindly

Dear parent,

Start by loving however you are and appreciating yourself. Your children are lucky to have such a committed parent and would not be harmed by, occasionally, encountering some human traits. You can always apologize, or do the “rewind” technique as explained in my book, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: 

http://authenticparent.com/

Make sure not to dramatize your apology so you don’t teach your daughter fear and emotional dependency. She can be powerful in the face of mommy’s tantrum. You can say to your daughter, “I am sorry. I had a tantrum. It was just me believing my own angry thoughts.”

To progress toward being peaceful even more often, notice that you always react negatively when you believe the lie that your daughter should not do or say what she is doing or saying. All anger toward a child is based on resisting her. When you resist and oppose your daughter you become disconnected and blind to her valid direction. 

You need not “root-out” the causes for your behavior (it is not possible), but, instead, just notice the lie that fuels them. The lie is simply: “My daughter should not do/say this.” When you question this basic thought, you will discover your daughter’s valid reason for not listening, not doing, or behaving a certain way. Once you understand the reason, you can address and eliminate the cause. Your only obstacle is your own thinking.

Habitual and automatic reactions are a human trait. Their power over you comes from believing the thoughts that fuel them. In my workshops and phone sessions I offer parents the “Your Child is Right” process, based on The Work of Byron Katie. If you need help in finding your inner dialogue and learning to recognize your child’s truth, I suggest that you book yourself a phone session with me and I can assist you in this worthy process of bringing peace to yourself and through you to your children. 

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com/index.html