How to Stop TV Shows and Toys

Dear worried parent,

When you act with confidence and calm; your child will follow your lead.

I would get rid of the TV and just tell her that you learned that it is not good for her. Likewise, stop taking her shopping and she will forget these toys. She will get excited if focus on new opportunities and not on the loss of what she used to have. 

You can offer a few new ideas: “How would you like to go to the zoo once a week?” or “Would you like to learn to dance?” “Lets join the hiking club... take swim lessons...” And, “I am going to bring art supplies... a violin... Chicken Soup for the Soul CD or book, etc. Lead in a new direction and the old will fall away of its own.

If you are worried that she will demand or have tantrums, rest assure that if you stay calm she will overcome these emotional reactions very quickly. What holds these reactions in place is your reaction to them. Crying is a valid way to express feelings; it is not a problem. A toy or a TV show are not primal needs and crying about those is not a trauma. With your calm validation, she will move on. 

Realize that your child is your mirror. If she reacts with tantrums, you must have taught her that she must get her way and that she is unable to handle not having what she wants. Change yourself and she will learn from you to be powerful and able to do away with what she used to have. She learns from you and from the way you react to her emotional expressions. 

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com