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Laura Egley Taylor

Then a miracle occurs . . .

Oh, the IRONies of life . . .

January 14th, 2012

I hate to iron. No, it’s more than that. I hate the idea of ironing—it seems all wrong. Because ironing—or a society that says ironing is a good thing—sends the message that there’s something wrong with the natural state of things. That there’s something wrong with ME if I opted, this morning, to read the paper with my son, Reeve, instead of ironing this shirt I’m wearing, which, because it’s cotton and not some crazy unnatural synthetic material, is ridiculously wrinkled.

(I know better, of course. I know that that’s silly: I’m not wrong, just . . . disheveled. Even so, when I have to go some place where I know I might be judged by my appearance, I usually will at least make the concession of hanging my wrinkled clothes next to me while I shower to give them the steam treatment—so that I won’t look like I don’t care, I guess.) (But I WON’T iron.)

Which is to say that it was a shock when, last night, as Reeve was packing to go to a voice audition at Temple University, and as I, trying to help him get ready, was pulling our 20-year-old iron out of the mudroom cabinet where we keep things like old paint buckets—things we never use—and beginning to iron his audition clothes . . . it hit me: I am the best ironer in this house!

Should be a no-brainer, since there are only four of us in the house: Reeve, my husband Tim, and our nephew Nick—and none of them were even sure we had an iron.* (We all share the same feelings about ironing.) Still, the thought took me by surprise. The best ironer in the house!

Which got me thinking about all the things I’m not so good at that I’ve needed to do as a parent, things like cooking and cleaning and bandaging boo-boos (I used to have to close my eyes while washing wounds) and things—like ironing—which I’ve maybe not even been sure needed to be done). Things I did because there wasn’t anybody else to do them. Which made me, by default, the best in the house at doing them, the expert. . . the MOM.

Kind of a heady thought. . .

 

*Though to be fair, Tim and Reeve have both used the iron before. Nick, however, had not. Not til last night, anyway! (He was a natural! May soon relieve me of my title.)

Above: Photo of the iron somebody left behind when Tim and I were house-parenting in the summer of 1993—the only iron we’ve ever owned—and our cat Beckett (who obviously feels the same way I do about ironing).

 

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birthday buddies and a not-so-empty nest

May 27th, 2011

I was born one minute after Christmas, and I’ve always felt special because of it.* So when, on my birthday six months after Tim and I got married, our nephew Nick was born, I suddenly had my own birthday buddy—somebody with whom I could share this specialness—as well as ensuing birthday celebrations.

That was 24 birthdays ago, many of which Nick and I have celebrated together. The last two Decembers, though, he’s been on the other side of the planet in a tiny third-world village in Mali, and I’ve wondered when we’ll be in the same room for a birthday again.

Life, of course, is full of surprises. After finishing up with the Peace Corps and returning to the U.S., Nick has moved to Santa Fe and will be staying with us before heading off to med school next year. Kind of a rest stop between adventures.

When I was a kid, my grandparents, worried that I’d feel left out since my bro and sis both had summer birthdays, used to send me “half-birthday happies.” I’m thinking maybe it’s time to revisit that idea and do some summer celebrating. Happy Half-Birthday, Y’all!**

 

*Gotta chalk this one up to my mom, I realize now. The power of the positive pitch. Some people might think of a post-Christmas birthday as a pain: a day that gets lost in the holiday shuffle, a day for Christmas leftovers as birthday presents, an afterthought, etc. But not me. I grew up thinking of MY day as a reason for everybody to keep celebrating even after Christmas had passed. “The fun’s not over yet, people!”

**Yeah, yeah, I know that technically our half-birthday isn’t until next month. But with all of life’s uncertainties, why wait to celebrate?

Photos: 1) A birthday bagel shared across the miles when Nick was in Mali. (The photos were actually taken in the spring in Santa Fe, when he and I were  just across the table from one another. But it was fun to send him this as a birthday greeting last year when he was far, far away from anything remotely bagel-like.)  2) Birthday buddies in 1987.

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rabbit!

February 1st, 2010

calendar

So there’s this thing we say at our house first thing on the first day of a new month.”Rabbit!”

Not sure why, but it has to do with good luck. Also not sure where I heard this, or even when I started doing it. Hadn’t really wondered where it came from til today, so I looked it up. Good old Wikipedia.

Apparently, we’re not the only ones with this tradition.

Nick, my nephew who is in the Peace Corps in Mali, is particularly good at remembering to Rabbit. It’s been a little surreal to get Rabbit emails from him on those occasions when he’s been able to get to an internet cafe on some dirt road in some sleepy village in west Africa. These emails don’t necessarily arrive on the first of the month, but we’ll not get picky, considering the circumstances.

OK. Must get back to the March-April issue. Almost done.

So, rabbit, everybody! And happy February . . .

Photo is of our kitchen calendar, featuring art by Rodney White, an illustrator whose positive outlook and dry sense of humor (in addition to the style of his work—love those textures!) I particularly enjoy. His tongue-in-cheek sayings, painted into each work, often cause me to do a double-take. This one: “I’d rather be. . .”

There’s some gorgeous stuff on his site. Check it out.

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and, now, for a word about . . .

January 9th, 2009

Mauthority.

My nephew Nick, who is visiting us this week, was sick last night. Sick, as in hurling up his guts every half hour or so. All night long. And I was reminded (it’s been years since I’ve done the all-night sickbed vigil—so quickly we forget!) how, in the middle of the night, the welfare of a loved one in pain and in need occludes everything: deadweight exhaustion, ice-cold bare feet, even the tremendous urgency of the need to pee after those cups of tea intended to address the aforementioned exhaustion.

tim-laura-nickI also was re-marveling at the old familiar awareness that I know what to do when someone is sick, even while worrying that I don’t. And that I have the authority to act on that knowing. I’m not Nick’s mom, but in situations like last night, general momness overrides the particulars of bloodline or familial relationship. [I don't mean to be sexist here or to diss dadness—am just drawing from my own experience.]

I remember discovering this “mauthority,” this power of momness, years ago when Reeve had friends over. On one occasion, one young friend (normally tough, confident, athletic, 9 or so at the time) spent the night. He and Reeve had watched (I’m embarrassed to say) an alien abduction movie earlier that night, then got scared and couldn’t sleep, so they brought sleeping bags in to our room so they could sleep on a pad next to our bed. A few hours later, I was awakened by Reeve’s friend crawling in next to me, staying close to the edge of the bed so as not to awaken me. I knew this big, strong 9-year-old would be mortified if I let on that I knew he was there, so I pretended to sleep while trying to somehow exude maternal comfort. He eventually returned to his sleeping bag, and the event went unspoken of thereafter. Momness works. Even while we’re sleeping, apparently (or apparently sleeping, anyway).

So now Nick, thank goodness, is much better. And I’m back to being an aunt (albeit an exhausted one), freshly girded with the knowledge that—should the need arise, for my own child or anyone else’s—I’ve got the power!

Photo: Tim and Laura’s introduction to Nick, circa May 1987, back before Laura had any knowledge of mauthority. (Laura: “But what is it, Tim?”   Tim: “It’s a nephew.”   Laura: “A nephew? . . . but, what do we do with it?”)

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