If you are a stay-at-home dad, then most likely your wife or partner will be back to work after the first three months of your new baby’s life. If she has been breastfeeding your baby, then she will either have to pump her milk so that you can freeze it or give it to your baby in bottles. She might need to come home or meet you somewhere else to nurse your child.
In our case, we were lucky that my wife’s schedule as a researcher was flexible. Nonetheless, on numerous occasions my daughter suffered because my wife could not get home in time, or pump a bottle of milk before hand. Dealing with these situations is difficult as a stay-at-home dad. Before your baby can eat solids, you are really stuck with milk. If you are not using formula, then you are out of luck and will have to struggle to find ways to soothe your baby, who will most likely be crying incessantly for her milk.
It is disappointing to have this happen, because regardless of your valiant efforts to help your baby you will feel like you have failed once mom arrives home and your baby clings to her for comfort. It becomes easy to question how important your role is as a parent, and even wonder if you aren’t that important in the first year, as [one] dad told me.
The rest of the piece is filled with tips for stay-at-home dads, and I think moms might find the caregiving dad’s perspective on breastfeeding interesting.
© 2009 Mothering Magazine