When Other Children Hit in Public

Dear Parent,

You don’t necessarily have to do anything in such situations. Children usually don’t really hurt each other. However, you could do a few things to interrupt their aggression

if you wanted to.

From your question it is not clear where your child was, but I assume he occupied one swing. Would your child been willing to go somewhere else, so the boys can have the swing? That would be a demonstration of kindness. 

If your child was unwilling to vacate the swing, you could have used humor, getting on the other swing yourself, saying, “Boys, I will use it while you argue.” This would get their attention and likely interrupt their fighting “trance.”

Another playful way to respond is to join the fight (pretend) by getting very close to them and saying, “No, I am going to use the swing,” and pretending to punch and kick in the air. They boys would very likely laugh and stop fighting. They may even come up with a solution, once they are done laughing. Joining the fight before it becomes physical is even better. You could join the argument with “Wait, I was first, me me me.”

Any silliness can break the fighting trance. Start singing, dancing around them, announcing (maybe operatically,) “There is a fight here, Ambulance!! HELP!!” or any other theatrical and playful idea. If you don’t feel comfortable acting so freely, this can be a great opportunity for you to break through your limitations and make life a lot more interesting and fun.

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com/index.html