Explaining Our Parenting to Relatives

Dear Parent,

It is best not to explain to friends and relatives your parenting ideas. The moment you explain, you lose their respect and more importantly, you invite them to vote on the way you parent. You don’t owe them an explanation or justification. Your need to convince them takes away your sense of confidence in yourself and they assume that they see themselves as part of the board of trusties to choose your parenting ways. 

Instead, just hear them out, validate by repeating and showing that you understand their concern, and provide no “defense” for your ideas. Defense is an invitation to participate.

Usually the relatives are not really interested in learning. They would rather keep their views. If they are interested you can offer articles, books and CDs, or encourage them to do their own research. 

You appear strong and elicit respect when you don’t bother to justify or explain what you are doing. You don’t need their agreement. You need your own approval.

On my site there is an MP3 about dealing with opposing relatives with examples of how to speak to them. You can get it here: http://naomialdort.com/mp3.html

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com/