Hitting by a 2yr old boy

Hello Naomi, I have your book and have read it many times. When my son was a baby, I thought I would have no problem following all of your advice, because I knew in my heart that it was the right choice for us. I am still nursing, baby-wearing and co-sleeping. However, almost as soon as Danny started walking(9mos), he began hitting: me, my husband, our dog. At first, (and even occasionally now) it seemed to be more driven by excitement. Like, he was so happy, that he would start pounding with his whole arm. He has never responded to any attempts to redirect him ( to the couch, pillow, or floor). He also never responds to "stop" or "no hitting", or even my anger, which hits me very hard at times. The only thing that worked for a couple of months was a Time-out, until he made a game out of it, and would put himself in Time-out. These days he will sometimes tell me he wants to hit me (which I DO appreciate), and I try to validate his anger, but that doesn't seem to satisfy him. Also, he has on occasion hit me from behind so hard, that I cried, and he hits our dog on a regular basis. Yes, I have spanked him and yelled at him for hitting, which I know is COMPLETELY confusing to him, and something I never, ever thought I would do. My juvenile, desperate defense in my head (at the time)usually is "He started it!" Of course, we have countless other strugglesthat lead to him hitting: he wants to dump food and drinks on the floor, he wants the tv on all the time, he demands that I eat, drink, pee (yes!), dress, undress according to his demands etc, and gets upset when I don't comply. Naomi, please help us. I feel like we are both spinning out of control, and I know I am the only one that can bring healing to this situation, but I am stuck in a bad place and deteriorating fast. Thank you for your time, Julia