Boys' Gun Play

Dear parent,

In my book, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, I speak of the importance of trusting children’s play therapy and expression. At the same time, you want to explore the source of your child’s need to play in this manner in case he is experiencing fear or stress. If he does, your goal is to help him gain more release through his play by asking him questions and listening to what he has to say about the games. Be interested in his play. If he talks about it, he will get more therapeutic value, while you will learn about the source of his stress and do your best to eliminate it.

Minimize exposure and talk about good and bad, right and wrong. Read stories that show all sides as equal and treat your child and others in this manner. Don’t take sides when children argue, and minimize evaluating things and people.

Some boys play guns, defense and attack as an imitation of what they see around them with no reason for concern. The play is always right and at the same time, we can learn from the child’s play about any emotional stress in his life. The boys get emotional release when they play. Our society is a violent one and children need an opportunity to release their emotions through play. Even when the home is peaceful, they seem to sense this aspect of humanity.

The best way for a child to play out his fantasies and anxieties is by making up his own tools. I do not recommend to inflate his imagination with toy guns or other war toys. Let him make them for sticks or whatever he sees fit.

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com/index.html