Food and Unschooling

Dear Parent,

I have responded to a similar question in my advice column, “Freedom. Not License,” which was published in Natural Life magazine. You can read it on line: 

http://www.naturallifemagazine.com/1004/ask_naomi_aldort_freedom.htm. 

It was also shared on the radical unschooling yahoo group and was rejected with passion for the same sentiment. 

I propose that we create a new terminology for those unschoolers who wish to protect the child’s freedom from commercial influences. It is possible to respect children and support their freedom while also protecting them from addictions. Sugar makes the child want sugar. The choice then is not free; it is shaped by the product. The child becomes someone who wants sugar, rather than be his natural authentic self, free of such dependency. At young ages the chooser is shaped by the choice. Issues of media and certain toys and clothes can be in this same category. What the child is exposed to causes what she becomes.

Your children are lucky to be guided by your well informed food choice. Someone is going to influence your child’s eating direction. If it isn’t you, it will be the industry. It is not the children’s fault that our markets are full of toxic stuff sold as “food.” Even radical unschooling parents don’t give children drugs or alcohol, and I hear that you don’t want your children addicted to additives, burnt fats, MSG and sugar. I don’t see the difference.

Young children are not prepared to protect themselves against commercial seduction the result of which they cannot see in the present. Instead they are shaped by them. They count on parents to protect them from invisible dangers so they can stay free. 

Eating junk food is not freedom and can have a high price in sickness, obesity, bad skin, and loss of health freedom. I know a teenager who is upset with her mom for not protecting her from modern foods. Unschooling parents believe that any food direction will make the child want it more. This is not true. Children are wise and powerful. Oliver (17) told me the other day that after concerts at his college, people ask him how he is able to stay away from the cookies. He tells them that he does not see the problem, “It is only a cooky, you know? It is not a big deal.” 

In his acceptance article for college, my middle son, Lennon, says, “As a child I was free to do whatever I wanted.” Interesting for one whose food at home was only whole and organic and who grew up without TV. My sons recall freedom and yet their inner freedom was protected. And no, the absence of sugar and processed food at home did not make them want it even more. When feeling autonomous, and having a relationship of trust with their parents, children don’t have a need to rebel and they don’t see the processed food as forbidden fruit but as unhealthy substitute for real food.

I think those who want to protect the child from commercial seductions, are providing as much or more freedom, while modeling a strive for excellence and health. 

We want to be careful not to turn any concept, in this case, “unschooling” into another “religion” to measure each other with. Lets leave this kind of group ganging and judging behind us: in school. You don’t have to pass any criteria to be an unschooler, and you can also call it a different name.  

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com/index.html