Fine Motor Skill and School

Dear parent,

If your decision to send him to school is fixed, then it is most important that you make peace with the consequences and empower your child to deal with the hurts and frustrations as they unfold. School, by its design, measures, compares and labels. Being in groups is unnatural and causes children to hurt each other. Talk to your child about differences, and about the fact that teachers will most likely make a fuss and may require special classes or therapy. If as a result of his frustration he behaves in ways that don’t fit school, they may even require that you give him drugs. 

But, lets assume the best. Nothing dramatic, just living with the pressure from teachers, and teasing of children. The more you keep your confidence in your child the more he will tolerate the pressure and use it to build self-reliance. He can learn that “What others say doesn’t really matter; it is what I feel inside that counts and I love myself as I am.”

Being in a school will have an impact no matter what. But, when his motor skill doesn’t matter to you, it will matter less to him. Let him know that no matter what a teacher or other children say, you love him and have no expectations. Say, “Oh, yes, I know. That’s how this teacher is. Does she want you to be someone else? How silly. I don’t need you to do anything. I love you exactly the way you do things and the way you are.” Repeat this as the subject comes up and be truly unmoved. In other words, don’t support school requirements that don’t fit him. Support your child in his direction and keep a benign attitude. At least he will have parents who vote for him as he is.

Obviously, to truly protect your child’s autonomous development, it is best not send him to school. Your question is like saying, “How do I send my child to the jungle and protect him from the wild.” It is not possible at this age. So, I do hope you will consider not imposing this experience on your child. If you do send him to school, I hope my guidance will help you and him stay connected and that you nurture his inner strength so that he learns to take his cues from the inside in-spite of external pressures.

Warmly, http://authenticparent.com/index.html