How to Talk with a Child About Their Future Homeschooling

Dear Parent,

The question of protecting your child from seductions is not limited to schooling. It is present in many areas of parenting, from food, toys, media and clothes to education and consumerism. It is one of the most pressing parenting issues of our times. 

Children can have no way of fully grasping that what they choose now impacts their future. They need parents to protect them from seductions that may harm them over the years and that they have no way of seeing now. For example, they can see the outcome of spilling their milk on their own clothes, but sitting peacefully in front of a TV, the harm is not visible nor present.

Most parents force their children to go to public school against their will for 13 years or more. Society thinks nothing of it, and these parents are loving and have the best of intentions. They don’t question the status quo. The children rarely judge their parents for sending them to school. They assume this is life. 

Home learning is your child’s life. Dare to lead the way as a parent. In your wish to respect her, you forget that she relies on your leadership, and on your vision of a future she cannot see. She has no tools to make such life defining choices. 

As a parent, it is your job to reduce the visibility of unwanted seductions as not to confuse your child. When it comes to school, I suggest getting your child together with homeschooling friends or those who plan to homeschool and pull away from those who will be going to school. It is never too early to let her know what path you are providing. 

I have to confess to you that I was shameless in preparing my children for their freedom from schooling. Since my children’s birth I chose the company of families who plan to home school. I also “brainwashed” my children to see school as unnecessary and unwanted. I didn’t speak badly about it, only as something far removed from their lives. Why be careful or politically correct when their future is at stake. Who would I be trying to impress? This is not a place for polite talk. 

My children knew from the beginning that they are lucky to be able to avoid school. When they asked me why anyone goes to school, I said that many parents work away from home and have no choice. I told them that they will never need to go anywhere they don’t want to go, because I am at home. When asked what school is like, I told the truth: You get to sit behind desks and a teacher tells you things and tells you what to do, write, read or draw. I told them other details they asked about. It didn’t sound like fun when compared to getting up in the morning and directing their own lives. 

In later years, when more mature and rooted in themselves, each one of my children had a chance to try school, or a school set up, for a short time. They did not like it. I didn’t think they would. They felt patronized and found the teaching boring and presented in a “baby” way. They realized how great their freedom was. 

Your daughter is too young to know where things will take her. She does not have yet a perspective to compare her life with and without school. The sooner you tell her the better. She does not need to live in an illusion of one reality and then be surprised by another. Be honest with her. Tell her that she is not going to kindergarten. She doesn’t need substitute care since her mother is at home with her. She is lucky. If she reacts negatively, listen and validate. She will eventually appreciate her freedom. 

Warmly,  Naomi Alodrt   www.AuthenticParent.com