Divorce Court and Attachment Parenting

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Ellen Craine

To be brief, my marriage is coming to an end. Several days ago an attorney friend came over to discuss what we will encounter regarding several issues my husband has with me parenting, including the fact that our three (and a quarter) year old son still breastfeeds and that if he awakens at night and I go to comfort him, I often end up cosleeping. The attorney stated that the court would advise me that this "behavior" must end; I call it attachment parenting and think it is a positive connection. Have you encountered this issue and dealt with the courts? Do you have any advice or resources for me to access?

Yes, I have encountered this before. I have had attorneys contact me for consultation on this very issue. The advice I give to you is as follows: While I agree with you that it is attachment parenting and can be a positive connection for you and your son, not all of society feels the way you do. Judges may look at it questioningly if the behavior prevents your son from having parenting time with his father. I do not know how frequently your son breastfeeds, but taking a look at how to maximize parenting time between your son and his father as you work to wean your son may be an approach to take.

Some resources to check out are your local La Leche League and your local Attachment Parenting organization. You can go to www.lalecheleague.org and www.attachmentparenting.org to find local chapters in your area. The Attachment Parenting website has a lot of information on family law and related articles that will be very helpful for you. Other good resources are a supportive pediatrician or alternative health care professional. A couple of books worth checking out are Attachment Parenting by Katie Allison Granju, The Attachment Parenting Book by William Sears, and Night Time Parenting by William Sears. I hope this helps.