Looking for recommendations for a thought-provoking book that's easy enough for a sleep-deprived mama to get through. Any subject except Parenting. :)

The guy I've been dating since August/September is starting to make me want to... well like the title said; "turn and run the other way!" I am SO BEYOND GLAD that we stopped discussing me moving in with him. Here are the thinks that are standing out to me that this could be a major problem down the road, let me know if you would start being concerned as well. And what I'm supposed to do about it now!

I think he's controlling. We have not been dating very long, we're young (I'm 18) and if I text or converse with any other guy he is upset with me and pouts the rest of the night. I left my phone upstairs when I was making my daughter and I dinner and eating and just playing with her and my family, so I came upstairs maybe a hour or two later and have 3 missed calls, every time he left these whiny voice mails.
1st voicemail: *in joking voice* what could you be doing that is possibly more important than talking to me, haha just kidding, but no seriously, what are you doing? i miss you, call me back.
2nd voicemail: * not so joking* babbyyy what are you doing? you're starting to worry me, I just got home and I haven't talked to you all day and I thought you might want to talk to me but I guess not. call me back.... bye...
3rd voicemail: *not joking at all* i'm going to my sisters. just letting you know if you decided to call me. bye.

This is only ONE of many similar incidents. So after this I call him and the only words I can think of are.."seriously?" and he says he was joking...I don't buy it.

We live 4 hours apart and I've been driving to see him a bunch in the last 2 months or so and he's came to visit me three times because
1) he doesn't have a car
2) he doesn't have a license
3) he doesn't have a birth certificate to GET a license
4) he doesn't have electricity right now

Tonight he asked me to come stay with him and I told him I'd love to but my finals are coming up, I don't have gas money, it's a lot of stress on me driving and I'm enjoying being home. So he just decided to stop talking to me and when I said...please don't be upset at me for not doing what you wanted me to do and he just said if you loved me you would do it, if it was me I would do anything to come see you, I have to work that's why I don't visit you. I work too! I only have 3 days off to study for my finals but that's "plenty of time" says the guy who dropped out of high school sophomore year.

Okay, after typing this I think you can see my decision is pretty much made up my mind to run BUT here's my problem...
This whole..manipulation stuff really gets to me; he broke up with his girlfriend, the mother of his son to be with me, they lived together and she moved out, as did his roommate when we started talking, forcing him to go from paying half of his rent to all of it. She saw me visiting him and the electricity was in her name so she had it shut off. He only gets his son every other night now that they broke up. Yada yada he did alllll this stuff because of me and his life is hell because of me "but it's worth it" he says. "I would go batshit crazy if you didn't want to be with me anymore because I've lost so much for you" etc. etc.

How do you get out of a relationship with someone like this?

I don't know if I'm the only one that goes through this but I often find myself feeling lonely at night. Don't get me wrong, I do things to occupy myself, like reading, tv, school but sometimes I just feel overwhelmed with the aloneness of being a single mom.

I'm particularly shitty tonight. I went to see New Moon with a girlfriend tonight and while I loved the movie, I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed that I don't have a partner to share my life with. This is probably the first time in my life that I haven't been pursued and while I'm fine with that...my marriage has been over for a long time and I would like to meet someone. I've had sex 2 times in the last year and it wasn't even good.

Also, I probably shouldn't have said something to my neighbor but when I got home from the movie, we were talking about going out and doing something and I inferred that it would be nice to meet someone. Anyway, the husband was very adamant that I would be committing adultery...which I would except my stbx and I are only married for the benefits. He's not even in this state and he won't be for like three years.

Oh, and to top that, my father who raised me as a single parent is likely to start chemo for leukemia in the next two months. I can't even talk to my ex about it cause he just started boot camp.

Anyway, I was just thinking that it might be nice to start a thread for us single mamas feeling lonely at any time.

I just need somewhere to share my excitement... I'm finally seeing progress on the pottying front! :joy

We started ECing late (10mo) and had the usual hiccup with learning to walk recently but it seems like we're back on track as of the last few days. But even more importantly, today HE SIGNED that he needed to go. :joy:joy:joy

This is particularly exciting since after starting ECing at 10mo we've had to rely almost exclusively on timing up to now. I thought a few times before that he was signing, but it wasn't very clear... tonight's was VERY clear. Even better, it was exactly what he needed, he knew it and was able to tell me. :love Yay! (It was bedtime and he was obviously v. tired but wasn't going to sleep, after he went potty he basically rolled over and passed out :p)

I know we're still going to have more ups and downs, but it's so nice to be validated like I was today. I figured I'd share an encouraging story for other mommas out there who might be where I was a month ago, wondering if there was really any point to the whole EC thing and when we were going to start seeing any results.:thumb

Would you expect a 4 year old to remember letters and numbers and be able to identify them in some way?

What about holding a pen - should he be holding it correctly from the start and if so, how can I avoid his feelings of inadequacy when I'd have to show him again and again how to hold the pen? It got to the point that he'd become very upset every time hee'd go to write when I show him how to properly hold the pen, I figured I'd just let him use it on his own however is most comfortable... But however is most comfortable or seems most natural for him involves his arm being in the air and his hand being nearly upside down with his thumb closest to the table instead of his pinky. This is interfering with the quality of work (circling, drawing) he can show... What to do?

What are some fun, active ways to teach basic preschool skills? He learns best while being active. We've driven his trucks across the room to pick up and load blocks of certain quantity, colors and patterns, we began matching blocks with the same letters and loading them on his truck as well as driving his cars from one letter or number to another... But it doesn't seem as though much of this is "sticking." So I'm wondering how much of this should be retained. My daughter pretty much caught on by the time she was 4, but I know all kids are ready at different times, and boys mature later than girls. Just wondering how your 4 year old boys were like.

I have been reading the family cloth threads on this board with alot of interest. I cloth diapered my kiddos, and use cloth pads/Diva cup. I also cannot believe how much TP we go through in this house and I seem to be sensitive lately "down there" to paper!! We also have a well/septic system and the septic is 25yrs old, so the less we flush down there the better!

I am pretty sure that dh will not use this, so we will have the token TP for him. So, it's just me and the kiddos for the cloth wipes. I plan on using two layers of flannel and need to find someone to serge them together, print on one side and solid for the other. I tried one of my old diaper wipes (yes we still have them, use them for faces) after a bathroom trip, and I would say that the 6x6 size is quite nice.

I am wondering how many to make though for the three of us, so that we can do laundry maybe once a week for them?

On a side note I almost bought paper towels today, but, I cut up 2 old awkwardly sized towels tonight and rounded off the corners, and again will find a seamstress to serge the edges for me. I now have 16 cloth "paper towels" for kitchen wipe ups/doing the counters and tables (I hate using my dishrag on the counter. I also have some REALLY old towel rags for the bad jobs, like dog puke or chicken juices!).

Sounds nerdy to be so excited about it, but I am, LOL! I knew you all would understand! :D

Hey hey! So I have never made sauerkraut before, and I need to start because I am *not* paying crazy expensive prices for the good stuff at the co-op. Last time I fermented something it turned out gross- just tasted like SUPER salty carrots (I made the gingered carrots in the NT cookbook). I have heard that the NT ferments don't turn out as good as some other recipes. Does anyone have a tried and true awesomely delicious kraut recipe that they'd care the share with me?

THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

I also posted this in my DDC:

I noticed some light spotting tonight. I'm almost 7 weeks. It was pink and not much, no pain or cramping, but still, I'm worried. Does anyone else have experience with this, either now or in previous pregnancies?

I did get some good aerobic exercise today for the first time in several days, and I'm wondering if that might be responsible? I thought I remembered reading somewhere that exercise, because of the already increased blood flow down there, can cause burst capillaries or something that can account for spotting.

I'm really scared...I hope it goes away and doesn't get any worse and everything's okay when I have my first appointment on Dec. 3.

Hi Mamas,

I just got the results from heavy metal testing with my naturopath. i have high levels of lead and mercury :(

so looks like the next step is to remove my amalgam fillings... of which I think i have 10 or so. I know :(

I have kaiser dental insurance, and when i called to see if they have a dentist on staff who follows the proper protocol for replacing fillings, the lady told me A) there is NO mercury in my mouth and B) kaiser doesn't cover replacements anyway.

So i'm looking at working with a dentist that is not on my insurance panel, who specializes in this type of thing. Anyone have a ballpark figure on what kind of bills i'm facing?

I know health is a lot more important than money. but its scary heading into a lot of debt.

not to mention the chelation treatments that will follow...

any support would be greatly appreciated.

What do I do about my 6 year old???

My DD does NOT ask for help. Scratch that, she doesn't even consider that she might need help. She is sure that she is as capable as any grown up. The problem is, that most of the time, she is right.

For example, one night she was staying over at her Nana's house, and in the middle of the night she woke up hungry. She got up, walked into the kitchen and made herself a snack. Sounds good, right? The problem is that she took out a bread knife and sliced herself a nice big piece of bread. It never crossed her mind that she shouldn't use a knife, everyone else does, and she *knows* she can.

Another example would be when we go shopping. We are walking around the grocery store, and she mentions that she has to potty. I say ok, and then turn to hollar to my husband (down the aisle a little) that we are heading to the bathroom. When I turn back, she is already in the wind. I catch up to her in just a second, but it was clear that she was headed to the bathroom alone. When I ask her why she took off, she says "I told you I needed to go, so I went".

The biggest problem is that most of the time she is able to pull off whatever it is that she is going for. I have walked into the kitchen countless times to find her with chairs pulled up to the fridge and her digging for whatever she wants. She doesn't even think to involve me. She's going to find the food and cook it herself.

She is never alone, and she is our only child, so it's not like she is unsupervised or neglected and doing it out of need. She is just creative and a problem solver, so she doesn't need me!

What prompted the post is that she hurt herself today. She wanted to feed our bunny and couldn't get the package open, so instead of asking me for help, she got a knife and tried cutting it. She poked her finger a little, and then she came and got me. I'm frustrated because clearly she believes she can do these things (and in the case of the knife, she has been successful in the past :irked) and so it doesn't cross her mind to ask for help. She thinks these very grown up activites (and I wish I could think of more examples, it happens all the time!) are as easy as putting on her shoes, so why should she do it herself?

It has been this way since toddlerhood. How do I get her to see the difference and have her recognize that she needs a grown up for things that are a safety issue?

I noticed some light spotting tonight. I'm almost 7 weeks. It was pink and not much, no pain or cramping, but still, I'm worried. Does anyone else have experience with this, either now or in previous pregnancies?

I did get some good aerobic exercise today for the first time in several days, and I'm wondering if that might be responsible? I thought I remembered reading somewhere that exercise, because of the already increased blood flow down there, can cause burst capillaries or something that can account for spotting.

I'm really scared...I hope it goes away and doesn't get any worse and everything's okay when I have my appointment on Dec. 3.

I don't know if it's just that he now knows how to ask for things, or what, but when 23 month old ds wants something lately, it's just a constant question/demand until I've gotten whatever it is (or I refuse and it turns into a meltdown).

For example: today he wanted to play with his scissors, and I was in the middle of dishes. I told him I would help him with scissors in 2 minutes.
He asks again "scissors? scissors! neenee (what he calls himself) scissors!"
I mirrored what he wanted: "You want to play with scissors." And repeated that we would get to it: "We will play with scissors together in 2 minutes after I finish dishes.

Repeat this several times while I a) finished dishes and b) got extremely annoyed.

It is like this with everything. Everything. He wants an apple?

"apple? apple? apple? apple! neenee apple! APPLE?" All the while I am saying in a calm voice, "You want an apple, we are going to the kitchen to get an apple. See here is an apple, I am cutting it for you."

Even when I am in the middle of granting a request, he keeps at it. It's like there is a CD in his head stuck on repeat.

It is driving me insane!!! I often lose my patience and say much more firmly than intended "you need to WAIT. you need to give mama a MINUTE. I will get it for you!"

HELP! If only to tell me this is a short lived stage. I think I can handle it if I know there is an end in sight. Or give me a different coping mechanism, because I don't know how long my patience rope can possibly be wants it gets colder and we are cooped up more than usual!

Hi everyone,

I a 21 weeks pregnant, and I'm experiencing something that is slightly frustrating and confusing and am hoping someone here might have gone through something similar and can offer some advice..

On Sunday, November 15th, it was 6pm before I realized I hadn't eaten in over 5 hours. This just hasn't happened in months. I scarfed a salmon burger and potato chips, which is not an unusual meal for me, and two hours later I began experiencing what I thought was abdominal cramping from gas. It was so bad and my body was filling with so much air by the time I laid down for bed, that I had to sit up til late trying to eliminate the gas.

The next morning I ate a full breakfast with no issue, but when it came time to make my morning latte I suddenly became astoundingly nauseous. I ran into the bathroom and my back broke out in sweat and I somehow managed to stop myself from throwing up. However, within a couple hours I began dry heaving. Nothing would come up but air, and it relieved some of my discomfort.

That evening, I tried going for a walk to push the air through, but, pardon my TMI, but I just could not fart! Plus, each step hurt my gut as though there was incredible pressure.

Finally, about 8pm I began vomiting. Each time before I vomited my body would become incredibly achy and hot and then I would feel relief after. But by midnight when I realized that I hadn't been able to keep any water down for hours and I was becoming dehydrated, my DH took me to the ER where they hooked me up to an IV and replenished my fluids. They also gave me an anti-nausea (class B medicine) that helped 10-fold. I went home at 3:30am and slept well.

Now it's Friday, November 20th, and I am still having a hard time eating real food and am occasionally having diarrhea. I never had a fever, but I did have headaches the first two days and exhaustion.

The nurses at the hospital took some blood and told me that they believed I was probably fighting a flu bug. I guess my question is, is there any chance that this is something more serious? Or even, could it be lactose intolerance (I was drinking 3-4 cups of milk/day + cheeses + sour cream)?

Why am I not feeling totally better yet?

I am finding myself wanting to devour books about birth this time around. I've read Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent and LOVED it, A Labor of Love by Cara Muhlhahn and that was ok, what else is out there. I read some with DD's pregnancy last time around and will probably reread those again, but am looking for new ones.
Any suggestions?

I'm not sure what's going on, or if it's anything to worry about.

First off, dh and I are doing great financially. We both work full-time. I work from home, so there are no childcare costs. Our mortage is very manageable, since we saved up a huge downpayment. We have low overhead; no car, no cell phones, no cable, etc.

Until recently, I have also had almost no clothes.

Now I seem to be rebelling. In the last few weeks I've bought 2 pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of boots, a snowboarding jacket, a Bench winter coat, tons of clothes, etc.

I've got lots of Christmas shopping done and I've ENJOYED it, which is extremely uncharacteristic for me.

I've bought dd lots of NEW clothes and for the first time, I think she has more than she needs.

I just signed us up for a UNICEF monthly donation of $10, without consulting dh. It will go on my credit card. We already support several organizations, but I did it because they came knocking and I like them.

Now I want a cellphone. Not, I want to start researching; more like I want it now, today.

What's going on? I feel okay. I'm not consciously bored or frustrated. Is this just healthy self-respect emerging after years of sacrificing my own wants, even needs to dd? Or am I in a danger zone? FTR, the Bench coat was from Kijiji, $60 delivered and the leather boots were $40 from Sears Outlet. So we're talking hundreds of $$, not thousands. But I'm putting it on my credit card and for the first time, I don't know exactly how much is on it. It has a very low interest rate, but still. Dh and I take care of these things from our "allowances," but I don't think he'd be thrilled if he knew. There's maybe $1000 on it right now, no other debt.

Maybe I'm just SICK TO DEATH of all the budgeting and saving for so many years and now I want some nice things for me and dd. Anyone else experienced this?