My Child Won't Bathe

Dear Parent,

Your son refuses to bathe for a valid reason. You must find what that reason is and you will know how to remedy the situation.

Most young children do not like water in their eyes, washing hair, shampoo and soap.

They are right. Shampoo and soap are not necessary for children. Water is sufficient.

If your child’s experienced soaping and shampooing and fears these experiences, it will take some time before he can trust you to let him be in the bath and just have fun. 

I suggest that you let go of any idea of cleanliness and instead, provide a shallow bath with a couple of toys like water wheel, a boat and an empty yogurt container. If it is warm where you live, you can start with a wading pool with very little warm water. Let your toddler know that this is not a washing time, but play time. Assure him that you will not soap, shampoo, or wipe his face. Offer it early in the day when he is not tired.

If he won’t get in the bath or pool, get in it yourself and play for a bit without getting your face or hair wet and without soaping yourself. Do it daily until he wants to join you.

Once your toddler gets in and plays, do not try to clean him. Clean up his sense of trust about water, and let the physical dirt be. He must be able to enjoy the experience. Once he loves baths, try bathing with him and start modeling putting wet hands on your face and later, dipping your hair in the bath without getting the face wet. Take it one step at a time and do not plan to use shampoo or soap.

Make sure your water is not chlorinated. Use a water filter if the water is chlorinated in your area. In addition, make sure he can freely choose to get out of the bath when he wants to. Give him the play bath early in the day when he is not tired. Put a step ladder by the bath so he does not feel trapped and dependent.

Shampoos are a useless modern invention good for making money but not for the hair or for health. It dries the hair and causes it to react by building excess oil. The toxins of the shampoo penetrate the blood stream and are harmful even when organic. Same with the soap. A child’s body generate a perfect amount of lubrication on the skin for softness and protection, as well as healthy bacteria for fighting disease. Even adults do not need shampoo and very little soaping. Nature has given us many natural substances for washing. For yourself you can try to wash hair with eggs, honey and egg yokes, avocado or lemon. Your child needs nothing but a little water.

Once your son loves water, he will slowly feel more and more at ease putting some warm water on his face, and rinsing his hair.

If your child does not respond over time to this direction, you will know that there is another valid reason for his dislike of bathing. Your goal is to find the cause of his distress, so you can eliminate it. If you are not able to detect the cause, you can book yourself a phone session and I will be happy to assist you.

Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com/