Children Wake Up In Bad Moods

Dear parent,

There is a reason a child wakes up grumpy. The causes can start with food and end with relationships and even TV. Eliminate food factors first. Pay attention to the correlation between what they eat the day before and their disposition in the morning. If you are breastfeeding, watch your own diet. The main offenders are sugar, chocolate, baked goods, wheat and many processed foods. However, even an overdose of sweet fruit can aggravate the mood in some sensitive children and adults. They can also be too hungry because of not eating something (ideally protein) closer to bedtime.

Other reasons can be dreams, noise overdose, things that happened the night or day before, dissatisfaction with plans for the day and stress. You don’t say the ages of your children, or if they tend to be moody together, all of them on the same day. If they tend to be moody on the same day, it is more likely to be food, or something that happened to both/all of them.

On the emotional side, a child is likely to wake up upset when something is bothering him. He wakes up and remembers what happened or what is “wrong” with his life. It could be the fact that he has a sibling who takes your attention away from him, something he heard in a story, a discord between you and your spouse, a film or TV show, a lost toy, a controlling brother or sister... 

Children are very good at putting their stress aside and playing happily. We are then less attentive to the dissatisfaction in their lives and surprise when they have bad moods. In general, most unhappiness of children is caused by feeling helpless because of lacking autonomy.

Do they have to go somewhere they don’t want to go that day? Do they have to do something they don’t like? Are they not looking forward to the day? Do they have to go to a preschool against their will? Do you leave them to go to work? Are they feeling helpless because they have no power? Is one of them more often moody than the other? Is that child being often asked to give up what he wants because of the other child? Are they told what to do? Do they sleep without you? Is life wonderful and going their way or is there room for improvement? 

When falling asleep and when waking up, children are very vulnerable and present to their emotions. I would not suggest to ignore children any time for anything. Connect with them. Sleep with them. In the morning, stay in bed with them cuddling and loving. Listen to what they have to say. My “magic words” are: Tell me more about it. If the child is not yet very verbal, tune into him/her and be physically close and interested.

Of course, you don’t want to wallow in the drama, but listen and validate with a benign and kind attitude and find the cause so you can eliminate it. Stay close and connected so you can “listen” through the child’s actions, tears and behavior. 

Mostly unravel the cause, whether food, being controlled, witnessing parents fight or a bad bedtime story, your job is to remove the causes of stress and connect with your children without drama but with genuine care.

Warmly, http://authenticparent.com/index.html