Children Caught In The Middle of Two Parenting Styles

Dear parent,

You and your husband must figure out how to be parents together so the children won’t set you against each other. Or, you may have to decide who is in charge of parenting, and let that one be the leader.

Two parents can raise children together when both educate themselves about parenting, child’s psychology and communication skills. You and your husband must either both read the same books, listen to the same CDs etc., or, if only one is educated in the profession of parenting, the other can contribute but not make the parenting decisions.

In your situation I am assuming that you are learning the profession and your husband isn’t. I see that you are learning the most leading edge and progressive style of parenting, which collides with the old fashion controlling style. Many fathers don’t seem interested in getting deeply into the emotional needs and learning ways of children. That’s not a problem, as long as the your husband is not the one handling behavioral, emotional or learning issues. He can play with the children, be helpful in their care, while trusting and supporting your leadership as the learning parent. My own husband was not passionate about learning about children. If he ran into a problem, he called me to handle it. Most mothers are passionate about learning new ways of childrearing and more instinctively skillful.

Your husband will enjoy parenting much more, when he is released from handling behavioral and emotional needs. There are things he does that you don’t intervene in. Likewise, parenting issues can be your domain. The children will respect him much more and will not set you two up against each other. It will be more peaceful between you and the children will see healthy collaboration, where one parent trusts the other and empowers her direction.

If you need more specific assistance, please consider booking yourself a phone session with me: http://authenticparent.com/guidance.html

Warmly, http://authenticparent.com/index.html