Child Traumatized at Playgroup

Dear Parent,

Yes, there is no reason to engage a child in an activity that brings him stress. Play-groups are the invention of adults and the children don’t need them. They relate one-on-one, not in groups.

I have already answered the question of groups a few times and you can read my responses to similar questions here on the Mothering site. Even though most of them are about older children, they are even more applicable for your toddler. Here are a few examples:

http://mothering.com/how-handle-bully

http://mothering.com/birthday-parties

http://mothering.com/parenting/taking-turns

http://mothering.com/needs-versus-wants

http://mothering.com/doesnt-want-leave-mommy

http://mothering.com/responding-interactions-other-kids

The idea to group children for play or other activities is a direct outcome of schooling. It is not natural. Your child is so young, he doesn’t even know he is in a group. He is with you. You are the one experiencing a “group.”

As for his saying “no” a lot, I suggest that you make it into a humorous play. Imitate the mother who was saying “no” in a playful way, then laugh and hug him and say “yes yes yes.” Then switch roles. You do something and he will say “no” and you both laugh.

You can include your spouse in the “no” game as well. Be creative and have fun. Your child’s mind will release the sadness associated with the “no” after a while. Be patient.

Warmly, http://authenticparent.com/index.html