Comments on: Getting Through a Terrible Preschool Year

By: Corliss Orsak

Corliss Orsak — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 00:56:15 +0000

Good! Thank you! I always wanted to write in my site something like that. Can I take part of your post to my blog?

By: Jennifer Margulis

Jennifer Margulis — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:00:15 +0000

Oh, poor little guy. That sounds so hard. And I know what you mean about your child being labeled the “bad kid.” I’m glad Kindergarten is going so much better, and that your son decided to keep the lunch box as a reminder of what he had been through. What an amazingly articulate little boy!
Jennifer Margulis´s last blog ..Hunting For Hidden Treasure

By: admin

admin — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:04:40 +0000

I agree, Jennifer. She is an extraordinary teacher and she manifests such peacefulness.

I’m really glad to hear that Max has settled in nicely. I know the feeling you described–and it is so intense!

By: Jennifer Dryfoos

Jennifer Dryfoos — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 03:09:11 +0000

I feel certain he’s going to have a better year. It is very unusual in that class, with that amazing teacher, for the kids to bite, hit, or generally create chaos. I trust her completely (and feel that way about so few teachers).

It might be the hardest thing, ever, to see your child be unhappy in school and feel powerless about changing it. I went through that at the beginning of this year, desperately trying to get Max into another school. Luckily it has all turned out well and he’s settled in nicely.

By: Kel Lieber

Kel Lieber — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:27:25 +0000

Thanks for sharing. being a parent to me is alot about staying connected through the challenging times with a sense of empathy for the child’s situation. We are all growing through the process. Sounds like Nathaniel (the name I would have chosen for my daughter had she been a boy–remember the witch of Blackbird Pond story?) is on his journey with some pretty cool parents/support people.

By: Brenda Milis

Brenda Milis — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:38:04 +0000

Oh Candace, thank you! So bittersweet, heartfelt and, as usual, beautifully told.

By: Rebekah

Rebekah — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:46:23 +0000

Thank you for sharing this very personal journey as a mother — the “friendship bricks” is a tool I will start using with my 3 year old, who challenges me daily.
I plan to find Perrow’s book, and add it to my resources. You touch upon that mothering guilt — feeling like a failure when your own child who is loved and is compassionate soul, acts out because an environment is making them uncomfortable and then is perceived as “that” kid. I have been baffled by our experiences so far with teachers and instructors who quickly praise the quiet/timid child while growing exasperated with my inquisitive/curious and certainly not quiet little girl.
Keep sharing these stories, Candace!

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:25:01 +0000

What a beautiful essay. I loved it. “Friendship smacks and bricks” are some of the most innovative and brilliant parenting tools I’ve ever heard of. We don’t have a sibling to deal with, but I could share that with J’s teacher if he ever has problems with particular friendships.
We also had a horrible first school experience– booted from nursery school for bad behavior, which turned out to be sensory issues (he hit hardest, but he also hugged hardest which no one seemed to put together). It took me a long time to build my self-confidence back as a parent– and J’s for all the “no-ing” he got during that first year and a half. Thanks for sharing Nathaniel’s story.