Extended Breastfeeding

Dear Robin,

Before I respond to your question and for the sake of other readers I want to mention that most likely your son did not lose interest naturally. (And I cannot know that for sure, there are always exceptions.) At one year of age a baby is not likely to lose interest. Any use of pacifier, bottle, time away from mom, or early introduction of solid foods may draw the baby away from breastfeeding earlier than he would by his own nature. 

It is wonderful that you and your daughter still breastfeed and enjoy the experience. If you are sure that you want this phase to come to an end, I suggest that you communicate with her openly and honestly. She may want it too and is trying to please you, or she may not, and then she needs to know that you are ready.

Most mothers choose to wean gradually. To start, talk to your child. You can say, “I am ready to move on and be done with breastfeeding, are you?” LIsten to her and respond based on her feelings. Reassure her with, “We will keep cuddling as much and we can find new things to do together too.”  Looking forward to the freedom and the independence that come with weaning can excite your child. You can ask her, “How would life be without breastfeeding?”

Make a plan to cut the times that are less important and keep the morning, the bed time and maybe one other time of her choice. Depending on your daughter’s interests, you can suggest a new and exciting activity that will helps her anticipate the transition with joy. Instead of focusing on what she is leaving behind, she can be looking forward to new maturity and new opportunities. You can also share about yourself; tell her it is your body and you are feeling uncomfortable and ready to move on.

Some children breastfeed out of boredom. It is best to start the change when your husband or another loving adult is at home and can occupy your child so that she is too happy and busy to think of nursing. After a while, discuss the next reduction, maybe the middle of the day feeding can be dropped, keeping only the morning and bedtime. The bedtime nursing is usually the last one to go and the child who is not breastfeeding during the day, will drop it on her own because the milk won’t taste very good any more. 

Some children have easier time doing it all at once. You can plan it when you go on a trip or at a time of another event or life transition. One mother told me that she said to her child abruptly one morning, “I have some news. We are done with nursing.” The girl said, “Oh,” and that was the end of it. Sometimes it is the calm and clarity of the mother that makes it easy for the child to accept the weaning peacefully.

If your daughter resists your guidance, it may indicate that your stand is unclear to her. If this is the case, I would suggest that you book yourself a phone session with me and I will assist you to making the transition flow. You can sign up on my site.

Warmly,  Naomi Aldort,  www.AuthenticParent.com