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My daughter got a stomach flu just before her first birthday. She went from trying everything and liking much to eating progressively less until now it's all expensive, organic takes on junky food: pizza, dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and Mac n cheese. She eats bagels, yogurt, cereal, fruit and chocolate. And that's about it. Frankly, her belly is bloated and I do fear for her health. I'm also running low on budget for the pricey brands she'll eat. And I'm so over making separate meals. She got a little brother at 19 months old and of course that didn't help matters, plus she has an extremely stubborn temperament and heightened sense of self and fear reaction to perceived threats... Such as carrots, no joke! But she's highly intelligent and feisty and I just want to help her little body. Any ideas for a gentle discipline or respectful way to unify our family eating?
Dear parent,
There is never a need to discipline a child. It is not her making. Children do what we teach them to do. She was introduced to these foods and learned that she cannot handle not getting what she wants. I suggest that you don’t give her any of these foods and tell her how much you love her and therefore you want her to grow up healthy and strong.
You don’t say if you are breastfeeding. Obviously, ideally your daughter should be still breastfeeding and not offered any food that is not real, raw and organic.
To undo these habits, I suggest that you stop providing these foods. You can remove them gradually but with clear and loving leadership. “We won’t be having pizza (nuggets, chocolate...) any more.” If she cries or screams and kicks, just be present with her and let her know, “I know you love pizza (or whatever you remove at the time,) and we must find other foods for you to enjoy.” Just be with her and let her tell you how she feels. She may go hungry for a few days, but not for long. Hunger will eventually drive her to eat.
Offer new foods that you don’t have now. Something exciting that she may love. Try smoothies with berries, raw honey and raw eggs and perhaps raw cream. Make almond butter balls with seeds and honey for desert, jello with real gelatin powder and organic fruit juice, cream cheese on veggie slices of her choice, fruit salad... banana in milk shake with honey and egg yoke etc. Introduce new things as fast as you eliminate others and take leadership of what is available in your home.
In our home the children could eat freely whatever they wanted because there was nothing in the house that was not nutritious.
The reason your daughter may have a fit if she doesn’t get what she wants is that you somehow taught her that she cannot handle not getting her way. If you wish to explore with me on the phone how she learned to depend on things going her way, you can sign up on my site for a phone session: http://authenticparent.com/guidance.html
Warmly, Naomi Aldort, http://authenticparent.com