11 Month Old Refusing Bottle & Cup when Mommy is away

Dear mother of a wise baby,

Your question is hard for me to respond to because it breaks my heart. You are asking me how to train your baby out of his natural need and how to coerce him to accept a plastic substitute to mother’s breast. How wonderful that he won’t fall for it!

You have created a wonderfully healthy bond, and your baby has enough self-esteem to  insists on receiving the care he truly needs. What a wise baby. It is very important that you do not coerce him into using the cup or the bottle. You don’t want him to learn to ignore his own healthy inner guide.

I do not know your financial situation and why you take time away from your baby to work. Are you a single mother? Will you have no food to eat without working? Your baby’s need to be with you and to breastfeed is very crucial for his well being, emotional and intellectual development. I would live in a tent not to have to work as a mother. Are you absolutely sure that you must work or that you couldn’t find a way to work from home or take him with you?

My response may bring you to tears and evoke regrets or anger. Yet, I don’t mean to judge you, only to support your motherly intuition. I will provide other solutions for the possibility that you must indeed work. But I must first say: If there is a way, give your baby what he needs. Not only he needs the breast, but very importantly, the mother that comes with it: you. This magical time with him will not return. We only get one chance.

I dare to say all this because I also suspect that, like many modern mothers, you may have succumbed to social pressures to go back to work and my words may support you in following your baby’s needs and your own authentic motherly heart. Listen to your baby and respond from your heart. He is telling you what he needs and he counts on you to provide.

If you absolutely must work, I suggest that you don’t try to have your son drink from a cup or a bottle. Instead, have him eat mostly fruit and raw food. Real and raw produce is loaded with water and will fulfill his need for the hours that you are away. He can also take a bath or play with water while you are away and receive additional water through his skin. 

When you return to your baby, learn to appreciate the extra breastfeeding time. Hopefully you sleep with him and can breastfeed often during the night as well. He won’t be as thirty when eating food full of water, but he will still try his best to make up for lost bonding and connection time. Once you realize how wonderful it is that he compensates so wisely for the loss of hours with you, maybe, instead of feeling tired, you will feel elated with joy and cherish every moment.

Warmly,  Naomi Aldort,  www.AuthenticParent.com